Most often, objections to
Pandeism take the form of some sort of
argument --
not necessarily a logical argument, or even a coherent one, but an argument naetheless. But every once in a while we draw a bit of a different reaction, like the one set forth
in this vid.
But first, a disclaimer. The "Chris Evans" who recorded this vid is not the same Chris Evans who portrays
Captain America in the
Marvel movies, who is by all accounts a nice and decent guy. No, the Chris Evans of this vid is devoid of those
manners and
charms. The Chris Evans of this vid is an
atheist. This is not an
indictment against all atheists, but representatives like these certainly will do no favors to the
perception of their cause.
The succinct 13 second production offers only two words, with the rest of it's time being devoted to theatrics. It begins with Chris, sitting in the dungeonlike darkness of his room, in the middle of a ritual of lighting a cigarette. He is taking an inordinately long time to accomplish this task, with the flare of the lighter arising a half dozen times or so before he is finally able to take a good strong puff. He is heavyset, seemingly overbearing and overweight (in his face, at least), the dim light of the computer screen casting a pale of pastiness over him, as if he has insufficient access to the
Sun, or indifference to it. His eyes are narrow slits; perhaps opening them is not worth his time. Perhaps he lacks the drive. One gets the sense that he is a man-child, having just crossed into adulthood in body, and perhaps as a legal status, but not in mind. The feeling, atmospherically, is that of a child, not a man--that of an underemployed teenaged boy living under his mother's roof. His entire bodily cadence is one of entitlement absent the labor of thought. Of an unearned reflexive disrespect for intellectual endeavor itself.
Having taken his time in lighting his cigarette, Chris sucks a long drag on it, then leans forward to blow smoke at the viewer, in a way which speaks of a well-practiced penchant for blowing smoke in the faces of other people. Maybe this is something he finds occasion to do in real life; maybe it's simply something he dreams of doing, practicing in the darkness, and doing it virtually in front of a camera is as close as he'll ever get to the reality of it. But blow he does.
And then. At last. Chris Evans reaches his defining moment, and probably
the single most significant moment in his life: he barks out his words:
"Fuck Pandeism"
This was it!! His moment to shine!! His long-awaited opportunity to distinguish himself from that actor, Chris Evans, what with has irksomely fit physique and croying pleasant demeanor and his
surprisingly pantheistic spirituality. This was the time for sunless zaftig atheist Chris Evans to grasp, however fleetingly, a feeling of significance. And bravo for him, too. And so what, if his enunciation is terrible and his production values are for shit. He has done it!!
You might think I would be displeased at this display, but in fact nothing could be farther from the truth. Consider, after all, that this was Chris Evans' first ever
YouTube venture. And what subject is it which moves this man to at last step tentatively into this forum? Despite his argumentativity, it isn't
Christianity or
Islam or some other easy, well-trod target against which he unleashes the full force of his wit. It is
the revolutionary evolutionary theological theory of Pandeism. And if Pandeism can make such a difference for one insecure exhaust pipe of a man, imagine what it can do for the
world!!