My plan to get up early did not fall into place the way that I thought it would. Instead I fooled around for so long that I was almost late to work. I know I need to get better at managing the stress in my life. Today was pretty awful, nobody said anything about anyone quitting. We went to a meeting where it wasn't discussed, I wish I had a recording of the meeting so others could see what's going on at work. I felt really bad for my manager, but felt that she handled the assault and aggravation very well. One of the fights that erupted was about small plastic deli cups that people in our department use to parcel out samples of products for customers. I never do this, but others in our department do, and they also take things home for themselves using this system which is why I object to it. Testers are designed for in store use, helping yourself to a quantity of green clay mask reduces the amount we have for customers. Testers like that are stupid in my opinion. Who is going to put on a clay mask in a store? In those cases I wouldn't even bother with testers, but I digress.
It's been so long since I talked to the former assistant manager that I forgot how nasty and vituperative she can be. She was openly attacking my boss at the meeting, saying things like she didn't know about the products up in the cabinet in our breakroom. When products are damaged or returned, we will often put them upstairs in those cabinets so people who have a headache, feel nauseous, or have other ailments can go there and get whatever they need to alleviate their discomfort. There's an honor system involved, one of the women who works in my department fills up plastic bags that we put our bulk spices in and comes down with her supply of the products she wants to use, but not purchase. She says she can't afford them, but it's funny how she can afford all the makeup and hair care products that she buys. My boss is one of the most generous and giving people I have ever met. Today alone I took home almost $100 worth of products.
Before she came in I dropped a travel collection of hair care products on the floor, the shampoo leaked inside of the bag, and we obviously can't sell a travel bag that has a brown stain on it for full price. At times like that I would prefer we cut the price in half and drop it into what we call our disco bin - discounted, about to expire, sale items that are being clearanced out go in there along with things like sunscreen and bug care when those seasonal products are no longer appropriate. We lose money on those things, but if we cut the price in half on a new item and tag it 'as is', we can recoup what we paid for the item. It's cool to get freebies, but not when the bottom line is affected which is what really bothers me about people who are greedy, and I admit it's hard not to be. You're never content, it's never enough, I have so many supplements, magazines, deodorant, shampoo, and toothpaste to last us a good long while. But I keep bringing things home because they were free.
Our cafe has a hot bar. They could parcel out the food, but it gets tossed because our GM can't determine what a fair distribution system would be. I'm inclined to believe that this is the best way to handle things despite the loss of nourishment and utility when food becomes garbage. Employees should never be in a position to profit or benefit from broken, damaged, or otherwise unsellable items. My friend and I have a system worked out that I like. We split things in half when we can. I'm still resentful that she gave some products I was given to her sister. I had told her she could try them, my intent was to have them come back to me, and I guess I failed to communicate that clearly to her. I should have held onto those products because I didn't loan them to her with a clean heart. I wanted them for myself, felt small and guilty about that, loaned them to her, and now they're gone. Big deal. I will get tons more product and now her sister has a treat she didn't before.
I'm mad because I was given products that weren't for sale at our store because we don't carry them. This is so petty and ridiculous I can't believe that I'm even typing this. Seriously, what kind of a person am I to begrudge someone else two free products when I have received well over a thousand dollars in merchandise since I've started working there. Those travel kit products will last me for months since I wash my hair once or twice a week, I got a month's supply of probiotics for free, and could have had two carrier oils and a deodorant had I wanted them. I gave those to the girls up front and I felt good about that. I need to stop being greedy because it's monstrously unattractive in others, and it isn't right for me to blame them when I'm exhibiting some of the same self centered behavior they are.
The meeting was needed. A couple of grievances were aired, many things were clarified, and I really hope that HR saw for herself the animosity and hostility that my manager and the rest of the department has to deal with on a regular basis when we're working with the former assistant manager. She's on her way out and she's challenging authority and being incredibly disrespectful. I think I'm going to give myself a break from the freebies. I want to declutter at home and that's practically impossible when I bring home more stuff. Maybe this is something I can do in November. I'll tell my manager that I'm decluttering at home and whatever would have gone to me can go to someone else. I think this a good strategy, and a great goal. It's good to earn things I want and need.
Praying this finds you well,
J
P.S. Decided I wasn't being fair to the guy I'm seeing. This is almost always the case when I'm frustrated with him. I would like more communication, but I knew what he was life long before this. Thinking about not being a part of his life was awful. I'm fortunate to have him. Really glad I didn't call things off, but still going to talk to my therapist about the relationship. Knitting club is tomorrow. I can do this.
j