It's a sweltering hot July day. You and your friends sit around, complaining that you're bored and the freezer has run dry of Popsicles. Eventually you can't stand the boredom anymore and everyone decides it's better to boil to death outside than it is inside. As you step outside you notice a rather large bumblebee buzzing about. You think back to today when you read this writeup and realize your life isn't complete without a pet bee.

How to acquire a pet bee

What you'll need

  1. A rather large length of string
  2. 1 cup or glass
  3. 1 piece of paper
  4. A fairly large bumblebee (other species will work, but not as well).

What you do

Go outside with cup and paper in hand and try to locate a large bumble bee buzzing hither and thither. Carefully attempt to trap the bumblebee in the glass by placing the paper over the cup when it's inside. Now, take the bee inside your house and place it in the freezer with the paper on the mouth of the cup. Set it in there and leave him there for a good five minutes (too long and the bee will die. Too short and you'll get hella-stung). Once the bee is in a state of suspended animation, take it out of the freezer and go back outside. Dump the bee out of the glass and get the string. Quickly tie the string around the abdomen of the bee making sure the string hasn't trapped either of its wings to its body. Once this step is done, hold onto the string and set the bee in the sun. Soon the bee will regain consciousness and begin to fly again. Now you have a bee on a string. Have fun!

I suppose that constitutes a pet...right?

Note: I do not recommend anyone trying this that is allergic to bees! Use your own judgment! Also note that having a pet bee does not alleviate any sort of discomfort from heat.

By the way... This isn't supposed to offend any Animal Rights Activists either. It's just a little something I decided to put up because who knows, maybe someone someday will want to know.