This was a question I was asked for the first time a long time ago, when I first started seeing the woman I would end up spending many years living with
When she asked it I truly did not understand the difference, even though she went into detail about the matter.
"When you are IN love it takes over everything you are, its every moment of your day spent thinking or feeling about someone"
"When you are IN love you would do anything, give anything for the person you feel that way for"
"When you are IN love nothing else matters in life"
I was emotionally young and had never loved nor been in love with anyone, although I thought I had. I just knew that what she described was how I felt and beyond that there was even more in my heart for her than I could ever express.
It wasn't until later, much later, that I discovered the difference. Things changed, we changed and slowly I got to know what it was like to love someone you were no longer in love with. I also got to know the hell you go through when something so special changes.
We no longer live together and I am stuck with this feeling: How do we get it back? How can things be fixed? I love her but we just can't work things out, I love her but you can't make yourself IN love, it's not an emotion that comes off the assembly line.