Selective memory is one of the most common ailments suffered by parents- but they'll deny it to their death.

Example of this selective memory:

Me: Mum, I failed two subjects this year.

Mum: Well, what are you going to do?

Me: Make them up next year.

Mum:Oh, okay.

Six months later...

Me: Well, I have to make up those subjects...

Mum: (screeching) What? What does that mean?

Me: Remember those subjects I failed?

Mum: What? You didn't tell me! What happened? Are you trying to keep it a secret?

Me: Yeah, Mum, I'm keeping it a secret by telling you six months ago when it happened.

Mum: (With a stubborn look on her face) No you didn't. I don't care what you say, you didn't.

Me: sigh.


Selective memory is based largely on the mood of the parent at the time. In the above case, the maternal figure was obviously in a calm and understanding mood when first told the news, but the second time the information was mentioned a petulant, snappy mood prevailed, leading to a miserable time for all.

There is no known cure for this mental failing, apart from the highly controversial and difficult option of taping every conversation held between parent and child. Even this would not be trusted by the parent, who, when faced with audio evidence of past dialogue, would most probably claim that the tape had been tampered with as they had certainly never been in such a conversation, they would have remembered it if they had.

This ailment holds a likeness to selective hearing, which, if occuring at the same time as selective memory, leads to family fights and a real comedy of errors.

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