Principia Discordia
00060

It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never ever ever agree with one another about Saints.*
Ever.

"Everybody understands Mickey Mouse.
Few understand Hermann Hesse.
Only a handful understood Albert Einstein.
And nobody understood Emperor Norton I.
"
-- slogan of Joshua Norton Cabal of San Francisco




THE CLASSIFICATION OF SAINTS

  1. Saint Second Class
  2. To be reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood.
    Example: St. Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE shrine.)

  3. Lance Saint
  4. Good Saint material and definitely inspiring.
    Example: St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Joseph Heller)

  5. Lieutenant Saint
  6. Excellent Goddess-Saturated Saint.
    Example: St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Miguel de Cervantes)

  7. Brigadier Saint
  8. Comparable to Lt. St. but has an established following (fictional and/or factual).
    Example: St. Bokonon (Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut)

  9. Five Star Saint
  10. The Five Apostles of Eris.

Note: The last four of the above categories are reserved for fictional(‽) beings who, not being actual, are more capable of perfection.
Note2: Cabbages can never ever ever be Discordian Saints. Ever. Other Brassica members can, however. For instance, St. Sprout of Brussels.

*I don't even agree with this writeup, and I wrote it.


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Omnia Discordia

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