From sci.tech, posted by David DeMers:
make.tenure.FAST
Dear Fellow Scientist:
This letter has been around the world at least seven
times. It has been to many major conferences. Now it has
come to you. It will bring you good fortune. This is true
even if you don't believe it. But you must follow these
instructions:
- include in your next journal article the citations
below.
- remove the first citation from the list and add a
citation to your journal article at the bottom.
- make ten copies and send them to colleagues.
Within one year, you will be cited up to 10,000 times!
This will amaze your fellow faculty, assure your
promotion and improve your sex life. In addition, you
will bring joy to many colleagues. Do not break the
reference loop, but send this letter on today.
Dr. H. received this letter and within a year after passing
it on she was elected to the National Academy of
Sciences. Prof. M. threw this letter away and was denied
tenure. In Japan, Dr. I. received this letter and put it
aside. His article for Trans. on Nephrology was rejected.
He found the letter and passed it on, and his article was
published that year in the New England Journal of
Medicine. In the Midwest, Prof. K. failed to pass on the
letter, and in a budget cutback his entire department
was eliminated. This could happen to you if you break the
chain of citations.
1. Miller, J. (1992). Post-modern neo-cubism and the wave
theory of light. Journal of Cognitive Artifacts, 8, 113-
117.
2. Johnson, S. (1991). Micturation in the canid family:
the irresistable pull of the hydrant. Physics
Quarterly, 33, 203-220.
3. Anderson, R. (1990). Your place or mine?: an empirical
comparison of two models of human mating behavior.
Psychology Yesterday 12, 63-77.
4. David, E. (1994). Modern Approaches to Chaotic
Heuristic Optimization: Means of Analyzing Non-Linear
Intelligent Networks with Emergent Symbolic
Structure. (doctoral dissertation, University of
California at Santa Royale El Camino del Rey Mar Vista by-
the-sea).