Saturday morning, after a grand night of
booze and associating
morally questionable women, I am awoken by the doorbell. My eyes open, slowly coming into focus on the 7:30 in red
LED on my
alarm clock. The doorbell rings again. Pulling my
robe from the
hook on the door, I make my way down the stairs, finish a quick knot and open the door. There they are, ties and
bicycles and beaming smiles.
"Hi, we're from the church of latter-day saints..."
"Good, then come back, LATTER today"
"But sir, don't you want eternal life?"
"Not if I have to spend it with you
people"
-SLAM-
"What I wouldn't give for a
pit full of
lions".