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2
Why chocolate is better than sex
(
idea
)
by
Archetype
Thu Apr 27 2000 at 23:40:18
You can GET
chocolate
.
"
If you love me you'll swallow
that" has real meaning with chocolate.
Chocolate
satisfies
even when it has gone soft.
You can safely have chocolate while you are
driving
.
You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
You can have chocolate even in front of your
mother
.
If you
bite the nuts
too hard the chocolate won't mind.
Two people of the same
sex
can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
The word "
commitment
" doesn't scare off chocolate.
You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your
co-workers
.
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
You don't get
hair
s in your mouth with chocolate.
With chocolate there's no need to
fake it
.
Chocolate doesn't make you
pregnant
.
You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
Good chocolate is easy to find.
You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
You are never too
young
or too
old
for chocolate.
When you have great chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors
awake
.
With chocolate
size doesn't matter
. It's ALL good!
(
idea
)
by
viterbiSearcher
Fri Sep 08 2000 at 3:50:04
The only
previous writeup
for
Why chocolate is better than sex
was strongly
gynocentric
this is an attempt to create a more
androcentric
writeup
.
Why
chocolate
is better than sex:
Chocolate doesn't leave a
wet spot
.
Chocolate doesn't want to discuss
where the relationship is going
at
three in the morning
.
Chocolate doesn't
smoke
cigarettes
.
Chocolate doesn't
smoke
cigars
.
You can offer chocolate to others in
mixed company
.
You can accept chocolate from other in
mixed company
.
It is acceptable to eat and share even the
lowest form of chocolate
(
cooking chocolate
) in
mixed company
.
If you have a
preference
between
light chocolate
or
dark chocolate
nobody is going to call you
racist
.
If other's notice you consuming much chocolate, the worst reputation you can get is that of
Willy Wonka
.
Grannies don't blush when they notice you enjoying
really good
chocolate on the subway.
Chocolate can be enjoyed outdoors in all weathers.
Chocolate doesn't require
protection
.
Chocolate can't go to
court
for
alimony
.
Chocolate won't
gossip
your
intimate secrets
to ten thousand ``
best friend
s.''
…
and remember:
``Candy is dandy / But lick'er is quicker''
She pulled the "I love you" on me
Size does matter
Why matter cannot reach the speed of light
androcentric
I love the smell of napalm in the morning
Maxwell's Equations
Cadbury's Chocolate Trifle
Victoria's Secret
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
mixed company
Rich chocolate orange mousse
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Chocolate
Masturbation
Candy is Dandy
Brazilian bikini wax
What do you do with your nodes with negative reputation?
pregnant
If you really loved me
thefez knows why
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