Some other aspects of unrequited love: (these are of course from
my personal experience, but I'd be pretty surprised if they weren't
standard issue)
- Guilt.
Particularly in the situation where that incredible
person you love is also a dear friend (and that friendship
is reciprocal). If your friendship is true, you've probably told
em of your love, and if you're lucky (as I am
in this regard), e accepted it as fact, told
you that e appreciates your feelings but is unavailable
(and, if there is an unacceptable sexual mismatch, permanently so),
and hopes that you find another wonderful person that can and will return
your love.
Bearing in mind the simple definition of love propounded by
Robert Heinlein -- love is that condition in which the
well-being of another person is more important to you than is
your own[1] -- it's probably better if you don't bring up your
feelings in conversation with your amour. And you
have to have a good measure of Control in this
regard, or your friendship may be a casualty of its lack.
Nonetheless, you always want to, and occasionally you do
so, in statements varying from "Sure; you know I'm always glad to"
in response to a request for a favor, to "Nothing would make me
happier" or something of that ilk when e asks you to lunch.
Even though sometimes these remarks could easily appear in the
context of a much less intense attraction, you both recognize the
undercurrent of emotion, probably elaborated by the way
you said it. The problem is, you know that when you let your feelings
show, it's generally because you want so much for em
to hear your love -- and, let's face it, you want em to be reminded of
the suffering you endure on eir account.
And you feel guilty because
you know you did it because you like to hear it, and not because e
needed to.
-
Arrogance.
Haughtiness.
A Holier-Than-Thou attitude
This is probably mostly seen in the case where your love is
not sexually attracted to persons of your gender, and has an
SO. This stems from the imaginary debates you have
with said SO about which of you loves em more; this tends to
end with the irrefutable Oh yeah? Would you love em
if e didn't love you in return? Would you love em if
e was involved with someone else rather than you? Because
I do.
These thoughts don't tend to make one feel real good about
oneself.
Who would have thought that I could work the Protestant work ethic into
this writeup? We who yearn for love from a person who cannot give it fantasize
that in a world where e would love us, e would
share the most sublime joy in our mutual bond. But things that come easy are less
highly prized, they say.
cirrus...
Socrates...
particle...
decibel...
hurricane...
dolphin...
tulip
Seven arbitrary words, and we become beloved by our mahal. Is it any less
real because of that? A question for philosophers, but in the deep recesses of our minds we would always wonder.
A person once said to me, after hearing my tale of woe, a remark I found
quite hilarious:
Anyone who's never loved someone unattainable has never truly
lived, though I wouldn't recommend it as a regular lifestyle!
Golly!, you can say that again.
[1] I took some liberty there. The actual quote is "'Love' is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."