Self Injury refers to the practice of inflicting
physical harm one onself
as a coping mechanism for
severe distress or
depression. It may range from
cutting (with knives, razors, glass etc ) to
burning ( with matches,
candles, cigarettes etc) to hitting or even biting yourself.
If the primary purpose is
sexual pleasure or body decaration then it isnt
SI.
SI is also known as
Self-Mutilation however
self-injurers dislike this term as
it has
negative connotations and implies that the intent is to
maim the
body and in most cases this is not so
SI is a
coping mechanism, and as such is no different to other coping
mechanisms like
alchohol,
drugs,
eating disorders and
workaholism. It does
not indicate any form of
psychosis or
personality disorder. It carries a
stigma however and most self injurers are very secretive about it an may
go to great lengths to conceal or
explain away marks or
scars.
The reasons that people self injure are varied and are probably
unique for
each individual however common ones appear to be
I first came across
SI when I was perusing the
personal website of a girl
called
nay, and came across a 'hidden' section where she described her
prediliction to SI and the ways in which she injured herself.
My first reaction was '
Wow this girls fucked up'......... and then I realised
that
I do it too. For some reason I had never made the connection.
I have a
small neat scar on my leg in the shape of a W ( or perhaps an M
) where I have cut myself in the past. I don't do it often - only at the
times when I have been
extremely depressed. When I have been
falling,
sinking, spinning with no way to stop -
once this year and twice in the
10
years before that.
I only have the one
scar because I have always gone over the same
spot.
I wanted it to hurt: Physical pain I could deal
with. Physical pain I could control - and it took my attention from
everything else.
I wanted it to scar: I guess I wanted something to match the hurt I
felt inside.
Something I bear with me.
If you self injure
you are not alone. Be careful.