A famous
ski jumper from
Finland, with a brilliant
career earning him 4
gold medals in the
Olympics, and many more awards in different
championships. Born in
June 17, 1963.
Although Matti was a very successful in ski jumping, his life has gone severely downhill after quitting the sport, with less-admirable stunts earning him a place on all the Finnish tabloids on a regular basis.
Some of Matti's post-career "highlights" in a roughly chronological order:
- marrying/divorcing/re-marrying/divorcing his wife Sari Paanala
- marrying/divorcing some other lady in between
- changing his surname 2 times
- confessing to being an alcoholic
- falling asleep at the wheel and driving off a bridge
- attempting to return to ski-jumping, failing miserably due to his lousy skill in V style
- suffering a heart attack
- trying out his wings as a pop vocalist while possessing no singing talent, releasing two albums
- recording a third album, which was (fortunately) never released
- venturing into politics, resigning from the city council after attending 1½ meetings
- planning to open a restaurant in Helsinki
- working as a male stripper
- posing for a hardcore porn magazine
- getting engaged to a 17-year-old Estonian girl and weaseling out of the whole deal a week later
- selling his vast collection of medals for a ridiculously cheap price, getting them back afterwards
- getting into a relationship with a rich heiress, subsequently breaking up and trying to get back together again
- drunk driving
- finding god
- beating up a female stranger, in public, without provocation
- drunk driving again
- committing himself into a mental institution
- facing 4 charges of assault and battery against his fiancee (the aforementioned heiress)
- hiding from the police who have issued a warrant for his arrest
- giving interviews from his secret hideout
- proclaiming on TV that he is the greatest ski jumper of all time, and nobody is going to beat him in the foreseeable future
- getting married once again to the heiress he has beaten up several times, and having a bachelor party with "celebrity" guests including Henry Saari.
- once again beating up his missus, after learning she had filed for a divorce (I bet you didn't see that one coming!)
- Getting his own brand of cider. I'm not kidding. Only in Finland would they use a wife-beating drunk to sell cider. The bottle even comes with a famous quote from Matti, "Elämä on laiffii".
- showing no signs of any originality by once more engaging into some good old wife-battering fun. probably due to drinking a bit too much of that sweet, sweet Matti-Cider.
- returning to music business by recording a new single "Elämä On Laiffii" and a forthcoming album
- Breaking up with his wife after getting a restraining order, then getting back together with here. Repeat approximately 10 times. Really.
- planning to move to Spain
- Apparently having returned from abroad, getting once again back together with his wife and then stabbing her. Yes, unfortunately you read that right. This is starting to get a little less funny right about now.
Believe me, none of this stuff was made up by me. Maybe by the tabloids, but not by me.
Needless to say, Matti is considered an alarming example of an athlete not finding his/her place in the society after getting too old for competiting. Or, alternatively, an example of a dumbass drunk and wife beater.
Nowadays Matti has an official home page at http://www.mattinykanen.fi/. Words fail to explain how hilarious the site actually is, so you'd better see it for yourself. Unfortunately the text is currently only available in Finnish.
Last Updated: February 6, 2002