What does a pirate drive?
a caaaarrrrr.

Where oes a pirate go to drink?
A baaaaarrrr.

How do pirates navigate their ships?
With the staaaaaarrrrrs.

How do pirates cook their food?
With laaaarrrrrd.

What do pirates do for fun?
They play caaaarrrrds.

How do pirates like their hamburgers?
Chaaaarrrrrbroiled.

Ok thats enough bad pirate jokes. siren adds: have you heard about the new pirate movie? it's rated arrrrrrrr ;>
So a pirate walks into a bar, okay, and swaggers up to the barkeep and demands a glass of rum. I believe his exact words were "Your rum or your life, dog, what'll it be?".

And so the bartender, being a reasonable fellow, makes no complaint but simply grabs a large glass, a bottle of fine dark rum, and begins to pour. And while he's waiting for the glass to fill (this being, as I said before, a large glass) he sizes up the pirate, having never seen a real honest-to-God pirate before.

This pirate is in full pirate gear. Gold earrings, patch over the eye, a big filthy white blouse covering his swarthy chest, tattoos everywhere, all of it. But protruding from his pirate trousers is the unmistakable form of a steering wheel.

Well, the bartender sees that the glass of rum is just about topped off, so he passes the glass across the bar to the pirate, who nods curtly and takes a huge swig of the rum. Slapping a dubloon on the bartop, he turns to walk away, when our bartender's curiousity gets the best of him.

"Wait, one second. What's up with the steering wheel?"

And the pirate turns back and fixes him with a beady glare from his lone eye. "Arrr, I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

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