It has struck me that whenever somebody is leaving a company, or just moving to a different team within the same company, that there is the manditory morning tea and possible gift-giving ceremony that, without a doubt, follows exactly the same principals as every other "going away morning tea".

The following is that agenda:

• 2 days prior to their leaving, somebody finally races out and buys an oversized "We'll Miss You" card and starts secretly getting the team to sign it
• There is a "whip around" to gather 20 cents from every team member to go out and buy whatever crap they can for that $1.45 collected
• Come the big day, a plate of cold sausage rolls and half a dozen dry, curly, salmon and cheese sandwiches turn up out of the blue and everyone stands around staring at them
• The leavee's team leader makes some weak speech about how they'll miss that person terribly, and laughs hysterically when someone makes a snide comment to the contrary
• The leavee then makes a speech about how much they'll miss the group and what a wonderful time they've had
• The group applauds and then wanders off to their desks, making a wide berth of the leavee should they have to say something to them
• The leavee opens their crappy gift then opens the card
• The card invariably contains the signatures of 10% of the group, all with the words "All the best, keep in touch", with one or two stating "Good riddance you bastard" to which the leavee has an uncertain laugh about (unsure if it is true or not).
• The leavee is asked by everyone in the group where he/she is going at least 3 times each, then packs up and goes home
• The remaining sausage rolls and sandwiches remain on the table for 3 more days, or until they move off by themselves