This writeup, done for a school project, offers a rare insight into an alien's life. Enjoy.
Waverider37: Thank you for joining me here today.
Alien: It was no problem.
Waverider37: Uhh, thank you.
Waverider37: So, what does it feel like to be called an alien by humankind?
Alien: That is a good question. We have always been different to other species of... of... creature. We have been called different names, depending on the species we meet.
Waverider37: We all are, though, aren't we? Even humans?
Alien: Well, I guess so.
Waverider37: Earlier, I showed you a video clip of our latest Earth technology. Is there anything that your species have invented that we haven't?
Alien: Yes, we have invented flying cups and laser guns.
Waverider37: Laser guns? Cool! Can I have... I mean, shouldn't that be flying saucers, not cups?
Alien: Flying saucers? They're old technology now... I remember back in 1999 we scrapped designs for Saucer '5' and brought in the Flying Cup '1'. Holds many, many more of us and has the latest technology. By 2005 we had one flying cup for every five of us, which allowed much more room.
Waverider37: The year 2005? But this is 2005...
Alien: Yes... I noticed that all the space fleets have problems with time. We came across a fleet of ships who wanted to conquer Jupiter. They thought it was 1066, and they all had safety goggles and face masks. You know, just in case.
Waverider37: Why is it that you aliens want to conquer new worlds?
Alien: Why did Christopher Columbus want to discover America?
Waverider37: He didn't. He wanted to find his way around the world.
Alien: Oh. Well, most of us just want to be famous. Some of us want to be rich and famous. I just want to open up my new fried chicken store universe-wide.
Waverider37: Oh yes? What's it called?
Alien: Get this... Kentucky's Fried Chicken.
Waverider37: You arrived a bit late. It's already opened here.
Alien: Really? Oh, that's going to cost me MILLIONS in advertising...
Waverider37: On a side note, I have heard a rumour that you appeared in Men In Black?
Alien: No, Men In Black 2. I was hired as an extra. I'm the fifth alien from the right in the twenty-fourth scene from the end who was right next to the bright blue alien who first appeared in the original Men In Black.
Waverider37: Erm... yes.
Waverider37: One last question...
Alien: Yes, we do.
Waverider37: Is it true that aliens have telepathic powers?
Alien: Yes, it was.
Waverider37: That was very good.
Alien: It was my pleasure.
Waverider37: Anyway, thank you for this exclusive interview.