I've got the strange sensation of simultaneously suffering from
writer's block and
not suffering from writer's block. And I'm both completely frustrated by this and entirely relieved at the same time.
The problem is that I'm blasting out at least one post a day for my weblog. But I can't manage to write anything for Everything2. Okay, sure, I've got a daylog, big deal. But I can't even get started on any other kind of writeup. No factuals, no fiction, no poetry, no nothing. I've gotten anywhere between a single sentence and two paragraphs before I realize that I'm not doing anything original or good, and then I junk the whole thing. I've tried every trick for breaking the block I could think of -- freewriting, writing backwards, writing in code, hitting myself in the head with a skillet -- and nothing works. But I still pound out a blog post every evening.
So I have writer's block at the same time that I'm writing about 250-400 words a night.
And while I can't stop beating myself up over the fact that I haven't written anything for E2 since February 19th -- the longest period I've gone writeup-less since 2005 -- I'm also so insanely busy that I'm relieved that I haven't been hit by any powerful inspirations.
For example, next week, the folks are coming for a visit, I'm expected to attend an all-evening audition for a movie that's being made here in Lubbock (even though I don't expect to get an on-screen role -- I reckon they'll ask me to help haul equipment around), and I plan on helping my sister most of the weekend as she comes to town to exhibit her art glass at a local arts festival. That leaves me, more than likely, absolutely no evenings free to do any writing, for E2, the blog, or anything else. On top of that, I'm expected to give a presentation at our "comic book expo" in early May -- which means I've got to write up a 20-minute presentation, rehearse it, and learn PowerPoint so I can show some visual aids. And not long after that, filming on the movie will start in earnest.
With all that looming on the horizon, I actually feel pretty happy that I can't think of anything to write for E2, because if I did, I wouldn't have the time to write anyway, and I'd feel guilty.
So, to answer the question of why I haven't been writing for E2 lately, it's 'cause I can't, and I think I'm glad. And therefore, I'm also miserable. Keep yer fingers crossed for me.