Ah-oooh! That was scary, boys and girls!

No it wasn't. A Joe Flaherty character on SCTV. The Count, dressed in full Hollywood vampire regalia, was the host of a horror movie TV show, introducing... well, horror movies. It was a parody of the many locally-produced shows of the same type: Chiller Theatre and such. It was a character within a character - Flaherty's Floyd Robertson (based on veteran newsanchor Lloyd Robertson) was Count Floyd. Eugene Levy played Woody Tobias, Jr., playing the Count's ghoulish flunky Bruno, replete with hunchback and disfigured face.

Sometimes it was a Dr. Tongue movie that was on tap - something like Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes ("in 3-D"), where The Doctor, played by a "menacing", bespectacled John Candy, would do his best to be horror-ble, playing to the "3-D camera" by lurching back and forth towards it. I can still crack up at the words "Would you like some... waffles?" if said with the proper timing and lurch.

Since it was about as scary as an episode of Sesame Street, the Count had to try hard to work up the level of enthusiasm befitting the host of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre while still preserving a shred of newsman dignity. On some occasions, the Count had to introduce a film that had nothing to do with horror, making his predicament worse. The titles may have implied two hours of good, scary fun, but... Whispers of the Wolf (ah-oooh!) was directed by Ingmar Bergman - there would be no werewolves in that one. How about Tip O'Neill's 3-D House of Representatives, then? Ah-oooh!

And, as with Bob and Doug MacKenzie, there was the attempt at capitalizing on the Floyd Phenomenon - in the Count's case, it was an EP of comic, scary (oooh!) song material, but since there was no Geddy Lee and no "Take Off" (ya hoser!), the EP didn't, uh, take off.

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