Dream Log: March 30, 2002

This is disturbing because I am female, and in no way resemble Silent Bob in features, actions, or interests. But in my dream I did an awful lot of hanging out with Jay and I'm afraid I did not speak at all. However, I was still myself in every way, strangely.

It seemed more like I was playing Silent Bob's part in a movie; I knew what was going to happen, like I had read a script, but it was still real life and not apparently not being filmed, and didn't feel pretend. I was trying to stop Jay from selling pot to the wrong person and getting us both thrown in jail. I tried lots of ways to stop him, like hiding his stash, and smoking it out of sight so that I could use it up and he couldn't smoke it right out in the open, and trying to convey to him without talking the dangers of smoking it when I thought cops might be watching.

Ultimately, my plan did not work, and we were arrested.

This is especially strange because I have never smoked pot, and I am not Kevin Smith.

My grandmother's house is a ranch, but in the dream it for some reason had a basement. There's an empty lot next door, but for some reason that was my boyfriend's apartment as if the apartment was just a small house on the lot. Just about the same thing when you went inside.

So we were having a family gathering of sorts, though I can't remember anyone else that was there besides my mother, my grandmother, and I, and my boyfriend living next door. I remember going over to his place and taking a nap (I'm not sure why) and then coming back and going down in the not-real basement with a plate of food. I come upstairs into the kitchen and I'm talking with my grandmother when she collapses and her face starts kindof melting away from the sinus next to her nose through her nose. Aside: my grandmother had skin cancer on her face at that place and had to have skin graphted from her arm. "Grandma! Oh Grandma!" is shouted, perhaps by me, and a fat aunt that I don't have holds her on the floor and my mom attends to her. For some reason we seem to think she's okay for a while, and we go back to eating and talking.

Then alluva sudden my grandmother gets up, looking swollen and in pain. She is all red in the face. She looks at my mom, looks at me and says, "I love you." and fades away, down to the floor, and dies. My mom looks at me in shock that my grandmother would say "I love you" to me, though I'm thinking to myself (in my dream) that she was just confused and looked away from my mom when she was really talking to her. My mom runs to her and that's about when my boyfriend actually woke me up... I was apparently not sleeping well, though he wouldn't tell me what I was doing or saying.

Hopefully this will help clear my plagued mind.