How cold is it?

How cold is it?
I've heard it said (although I have no scientific studies to cite), that the English language has the largest number of vulgar figures of speech of any language. This sounds fishy to me, but in any case I'll run with it for the purpose of this node. As you might imagine, a common gripe of English speakers is cold weather. Naturally, we have a colorful multitude of vulgar expressions on that subject. So next time somebody asks you "How cold is it out there?" you can tell them:

In general:

• It's Colder than a well digger's ass.
• It's Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
• It's Colder than a witch's tit.
• Colder than a pimp's heart.
• Colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere.

• It's Colder than the nipple on a witch's tit.
• It's Colder than a bucket of penguin shit.
• It's Colder than the hair on a polar bear's ass.
• It's Colder than the frost on a champagne glass.

If you have more that you have found in general circulation, let me know and I'll add 'em.