Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I drive a truck, I'm butt ugly, and I'm about to be eaten by a spider."

• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• Ain't what I'm gonna be, ain't what I wanna be, but lord thank you I ain't what I used to be.
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
• I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• I'm In Love With Massachusetts ( ... drive on by ... ) (document)
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• I'm going to be a programmer!
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• you are likely to be eaten by a grue
• I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED: Come for the scenery, stay for the BAP (another E2 nodah pahty)
• I'm going to be a Dad
• I'm not homophobic but...
• I Think I'm a Pervert, But I'm Totally Over It
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• I'm tone-deaf, but it's okay
• Stop saying "religion" when you mean "a particular religion about which I'm bitter"
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• There's so much to think about. I'm getting distracted.
• i don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it feels like to be gored by a chainsaw
• I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• When I'm wearing a bonnet and sipping pretend tea with Miss Ponykins and Zippy the Ugly Zebra, that's when I feel the most like a man
• I'm not doing it just to be weird
• I'm claiming the right to be unhappy
• i'm here to create peace and understanding BY FORCE IF NECESSARY
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• Don't be an IM phantom
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• if i'm right, you'll be here to read this any day now
• Strike me down - I'll be everything I'm not
• I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
• I'm not racist but...
• You are a weaponsmith in an open field. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
• I'm talking about the kind of love that keeps you alive.
• I'm not anorexic, but I'm working on it
• Fuck you I'm going to write poetry about your city
• I'm poor, but I'm happy
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• I'm about to create a new node!
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• They think I'm crazy, but I know it's real
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• i'm not sure but i'm listening
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• I'm going to take five of those six exclamation points and drive them into the soft flesh under your fingernails
• excuse the pencil but I'm inkless
• I'm not one to be had for the wanting, Sir
• I'm passionate about my plant life
• I always sound Irish when I'm trying to be charming
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking
• Theories about the future that make you think "Holy shit, I'm scared!"
• I'm not talking about
• I know what I'm talking about
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• I'm All You Can Think About
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• I'm not a rocket scientist, but
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• Being a dickhead
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• But I'm a Cheerleader
• I'm cold, but I'm happy
• I'm not a god, but I'm working on it
• I'm sorry sir, but it appears that the abyss hasn't put you on the guest list...
• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• I'm awake now. You know what I'm talkin' about?
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• I'm nothing but a flower falling off a winter stem
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• Well if it's gonna be THAT kinda party, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!
• I'm not sick but I'm not well
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• Tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling
• the struggle continues, but at least i know i'm not alone
• I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
• I'm not even supposed to BE here today!
• You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• I'm looking at the river, but I'm thinking of the sea
• i might look like a grown person, but i'm just a tiny confused scientist
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• When I'm swept up by the Rapture, grab the wheel of my pick-up
• I'm really sorry about that!!!
• untie the boat and turn on the water i'm gone i'm gone i'm gone but it's alright
• I know them by the trucks they drive, the names they call each other, the tattoos on hot, shirtless days, the music they blast after lunch, to get through the rest of the day.
• I'm starting to think the secret is to NOT be rich and prosperous. To be 'unsuccessful' (depending on who you ask)
• I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED: Come for the scenery, stay for the BAP (another E2 nodah pahty) - II
• I'm dreaming it so it must be true
• OMG!!1 I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED AGAIN
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• i'm trying not to be a prisoner of time
• Waiting to be wiped out by natural selection
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• We couldn't be anywhere else but here
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 18
• All Flesh Must Be Eaten
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• I Would Be Content To Live For But A Day
• Nah, these random encounters with beautiful strangers won't destroy me at all. But I guess I thought it'd be a good way to die at the time.
• I want to be woken by you climbing through my window
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• Questions will be asked...AND DESTROYED! BY ANSWERS!
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• What it's like to be raided by the FBI
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee
• Your heart may be broken, but the world still rotates my dear friend
• The zombie revolution will not be televised. But it will be tweeted.
• Come be Entertained by Baltimore's Divine Waters
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• Given that a and b are integers, a^2 = b^3, and a is even, prove that a must be divisible by 4
• Don't be seduced by the taco bar
• If you loved her, you'd be home by now
• Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
• How the Internet came to be: On use by other networks
• World peace is a beautiful dream that will never be achieved by the human race
• Not to die but to be reborn...
• Hot pursuit
• Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
• You are judged by the God that you choose to be judged by
• It is far better to be bored by somebody else than to be bored by oneself.
• Be Quiet and Drive (Far away)
• He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he is our son-of-a-bitch
• What Weakness To Be Struck Down By A Phantom
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• but you should be right here, right next to me
• Men are designed to be good hunters, but it's women who are born killers
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• As nuclear explosions ravage New York City, the apartment block residents rush downstairs to escape the building, only to be forced into the basement by further explosions.
• Professor Evil, prepare to be struck down by this shovel I found over in the corner! For JUSTICE!
• It ought to be broad daylight, but the shadow that envelops the story shows no signs of brightening
• Foods which can be eaten raw
• I cannot be touched by any of this madness
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• This song is meant to be played so loudly it liquefies your thoughts as you drive at night through abandoned neon dinosaur bones
• Spikey the Werm may be a Werm, but he's got quite an imagination nonetheless!
• What it's like to be questioned by the FBI
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• Starving in the greenhouse
• It is not our noise at all, but we are lucky to be listening
• Rules by which a great empire may be reduced to a small one

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