Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "There was a gag here about waving your arms for a living, but that was deemed mocking."

• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• There was silence in my heart, but you found a way to break it.
• Here were the words I was waiting for, without the part I wanted
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• There was this one great night at Alice's house,
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
• Before inertia, there was impetus
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• Here lies one whose name was writ in water
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• /but what was the question?
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• I was wrong about the color changing; your eyes are brown
• did i really change the way you think about everything? was it the chemicals in your brain?
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• There Was No Leak
• There was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• this was supposed to be a parable about the power of the imagination
• there was more poetry in her shopping lists than in any of my rhymes
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• It was always hot here
• Democracy assassinated the family that was here
• Well, I was tired of being 24 anyway, so there
• The artifact was completely impenetrable to all forms of matter except living human flesh
• The time they fantasize about was built on a lie
• The Day the World was about to End
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• the dead had risen, and there was nobody to pump gas
• The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• There was no one waiting for me...
• So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
• BROOKS WAS HERE
• Why, Martha, for the longest time there was no railway station in Slough!
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• I worked at the mall in the 80s. There was a cult that used to recruit out on the front steps.
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• Once there was a way...
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• but fuck, it was Sunday and the church bells hadn't even called the faithful
• we went to the stars, but all we found was ourselves
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• I was in heaven, I was in hell. Believed in niether but feared them as well.
• I was the liar; here is the truth
• This was the shinest golden dollar I would ever see in my life and I was not about to tarnish it.
• There was a young lady of Riga
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• No one older than twenty-five was stupid enough to take a job here.
• It was always about words
• Something was about to happen.
• There was a time when I was a better person
• There was a land where lived no violets
• and there was this girl
• There once was a chicken named Alice
• I Wish My Brother George Was Here
• There once was a man from St. Paul
• There was a moment of drunken silence
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• Two of them. Hovering there like bloated gas giants in the heavens. Good God, it was beautiful.
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• One hour there was sunlight
• There was a man and a woman
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• Before you, there was me
• There was a baby in China
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• There was a man who lived a life of fire
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• I stared into the muddled sky with tears running down my face in small rivers, and I knew then that there was no hope
• sifting sand to find fading past in smooth stones, sorrow was here
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• There was always the blue of you
• There was a time when I got lost wherever I went.
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• There was just the magic I'd brought and laid there over the years, piled up in the corners like twinkling dust bunnies
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• i thought i was special, but it was you
• The Box Said 'Do NOT Open" But The Seal Was Already Broken
• It was a dream. But it wasn't a dream.
• Noding for Numbers sure was silly, but it sure is better than Dada Fascism
• Pete Townshend was right about Saddam Hussein
• What if Everything You Thought You Knew About AIDS Was Wrong?
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• At Least It Was Here
• There was once a Man
• some say he was never here at all
• Every poem about thunder was written under the protection of a roof, or, at the very least, an empty sky
• "I was surprised to hear about the cat."
• No shit, there I was
• I remember, there was one
• There was an old lady
• There was a rose that faded young
• So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• Where there was fire I brought the gasoline
• There Was a Man of Double Deed
• Kilroy was here
• There was a man with tongue of wood
• Was it ever there?
• The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
• Where's the kaboom?
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• Johnny Clueless was there, with his Simulated Wood-Grain
• There Once Was a Farmer
• Was There a Time
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• There Was a Child Went Forth
• there was at that moment no one more rightful dead than that unknown and faceless man
• There never was a body that gave the undertaker a tip
• There was a cold day
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• I was there
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• There was a time before
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• A knock there was upon the door
• In the end it did not matter. The ocean was still there.
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Unfortunately, there was no applause
• Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
• There once was a girl named Irene
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• There Was A Friend
• It all burned up in the fire there was nothing left
• I'm wishing Jesus was here again
• There Was a Desert in My Head
• There was a little girl
• strange and too short but I was lonely
• nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
• relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• there was a time when you couldn't just learn things instantly
• The flowers smiled, but she was gone
• Little plaques that say "So-And-So Was Born Here"
• There Is No Such Thing As Light/There Is No Such Thing As Darkness/This Shadow Is An Illusion/But Illusions Are Still Real/And I Still Must Step Out Of It
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• With you there is nothing involved but everything
• there are many voids but this one is mine
• i carry a deep sadness of the past, perhaps always. but i am here for the present and the future. i am here for you.
• Your bed is no longer here, but the windows are
• I know you're up there. I am but a discontented symbol birthed from the blood of your terrible pen.
• Eyes are the windows to the soul, but there are some windows that should never be opened
• Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
• The dead eat it always, but the living who eat it die slowly
• I swear I just came here for a sandwich, but do you remember me?
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• in this world there are no equals but some day you will surpass me
• as you get older, a lot falls away. but i am not here to tell you not to worry. i am here to give you tools.
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy

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