First, let me assure you that I am quite severely sane.

After years of imitating life on the stage, I finally managed to figure out what it was, in that it is very satisfying to know you are renowned through out the world for what you do, not particularly because you do it well, but because it is what you are doing. I understood this too the point that I went utterly sane, realizing that everything I did was upside down, and suddenly began to use extremely too many adjectives. I explained this to the people that I knew who told me I had gone totally wonko on them, and that I should go live in an asylum. I told them I already did, and they told me to go suck an egg. This I did and immensely enjoyed.

As Ben Edlund's classic hero once said, "You are not going crazy. You are going sane in a crazy world." This is not entirely true. I went sane in a sane world while everyone else decided to stay behind and be crazy.

All phear me for I am Dink: the Love Muffin of Pain and Injustice. Loe thau wot seek mine lair consumith in minuscule fishy clothe. Evil is the choice that brings the most satisfation. In a world that needs a hero there is only but one single cacophany of trash compactors. They will be the ones that eat the flesh of the rampaging EDB.

Hmm, there seems to be something sticking to the bottum of my homenode.

Could someone find me a shirt that says:
01001110
01000101
01010010
01000100

Or say this:
01000111
01000101
01000101
01001011

Yeah it's sad.

Anyone wishing an audience with me, need only AIM me at this name, or MSN me under my email address which you can /msg me for.

I solemnly covenant that at least 90% of my writeups shall be factual writeups

My, this is certainly getting longer than expected.

The time had finally come. Clouds parted over the small enclave of the Monks of E, and the sun shown down into the courtyard. It was time again for the ascension.

Down in the lower basement, two shadowy figures appeared in the doorway of his small room. They glanced around at the piles of notes and half finished scrolls. They said nothing. Uberbanana looked up from his work.

"Is it time?", he asked timidly. The two figures nodded and escorted him toward the stairs.

The gates of the courtyard opened and Uberbanana was momentarily blinded by the light. He could see the elder monks gathered around small platform holding the cage of the ravenous beast. The young initiate was placed before the cage by The Guardians and The Overseer was called in.

The Overseer stood with his hand on the cage latch, while the beast frothed at the mouth hungry for its next meal. He questioned each guardian in turn.

"What say you?"

The black cloaked guardian extended his arm with his thumb to the side. In one quick motion he swung it skyward. "Solid!", he remarked with a grin.

The Overseer glanced at the red cloaked guardian. "And you?"

The guardian eyed the young neophyte once more then turned to The Overseer. "He'll be back"

The Overseer removed his hand from the latch. "Young initiate, how long have you been here?"

"Erm, a while."

"So it seems. You have been deemed worth of advancement...for now. You will be given the robes of a novice, your older ones will be held incase of future need. Go forth and spread your knowledge to the others. You have been given the right to praise the worthy, and to admonish the undeserving. Your influence will spread and be monitored. But know that your education is not let complete."

And with that, the great cheer was sung out. "SOY! SOY! SOY! Soy makes you strong! Strength crushes enemies! SOY!" Uberbanana was awarded the robes and lead to another door where he was given a mop and bucket. The doors closed behind him.

"Now," said a voice behind him, "clean the stalls."

People who haven't C! me;