The kitchenhand is the person in a restaurant, cafe or pub who does the chefs' dirty work for them - in effect a sort of cabin boy. Kitchenhands are usually students who work a few shifts a week - professional, older kitchenhands are a rare and frightening phenomenon.

I have been working part-time as a kitchenhand for about six months. My cafe is a smallish place seating no more than 80-100 people located on one of Melbourne's most trendy inner-city streets, and I am usually kept very busy. The kitchen is tiny and at any one time there are only two chefs handling up to ten new orders at a time, so it can be rather intense, although a relaxed attitude is maintained by all. The great majority of my time is spent washing dishes. As well as this I sweep, mop, clean shelves and the toilets, perform assorted food preparation tasks, put away deliveries, kill cockroaches and capture mice (though the latter two tasks are not exclusively my domain).

I don't get any official breaks, for in theory I am allowed to take them whenever I desire - this means every two hours on average. Taking the cardboard out for recycling is a great opportunity to enjoy a cigarette at a more relaxed pace. I rue and yet simultaneously crave the errands for avocadoes, sink plugs, teatowels, nori, or turkish bread which I sometimes run, for though I am missing out on valuable dishwashing time at least I can have a smoke.

It is often said that the "dark side" of the hospitality industry is the excessive drug use enjoyed by those employed therein. I have to disagree - the "dark side", in my opinion, would be the long hours and shit pay, and I find that drugs actually enhance the manual labor experience. In any case, I have certainly found that a healthy level of substance indulgence is certainly present at my place of employ, and it must be said that washing lettuce stoned is really relaxing.

While my time as a kitchenhand has not achieved the original goal of filling my bank account with money it has been a fun experience. I am supplied with unlimited free food, use of the whole kitchen for my own purposes (I can cook myslef stuff!), unlimited non-alcoholic drinks while I work, as well as a knock-off drink of my choice. Also, the staff at my place of employment are decent people which I can assure you makes all the difference - I have worked at another restaurant where the work was no harder, but the people far les pleasant, and it was hell. We have a good selection of music and a relaxed attitude towards work which makes time spent scrubbing dishes seem worthwhile. The only real downside to the job that I find is that it's impossible to go out directly after a shift due to the fact that I stink of sweat and grease, my clothes retaining a whiff of deep-fryer even after multiple washes. It certainly beats telemarketing anyway.