Conversations at work run to the
raunchy. This time, it was
giddy giddy first-date behavior; you know, what
nerves we have in the
preliminaries to love. He said he saw me as an
aggressor; he imitated me, even - he said:
"You little
cocktease! I thought I was gonna
get some tonight!"
He
saw my reaction (the
full-body blush, the
cower), and he doesn't even know
what sentiments I had a couple of months ago, the night my
heart split for real and good, the night I had to
wake up to a couple of
awful truths.
My
heart and
libido not enough to bear in close quarters; both
too afraid to hurt the other; and the way I had to learn to be happy, really happy,
just being quiet and close with him.