Listen to me, geek boy
. I can help you...
Romantic relationships are simple things, and the solutions to 95% of the problems you may encounter have been solved by independent experts hundreds of times over thousands of years; they only continue to plague persons like yourself because people are not logical and because it's easier and, frankly, more comforting to wallow in your problems rather than fix them. Instead of investing in the future through toil now, you are embracing the well-worn comforts of the present.
Was that too harsh? Sorry, you needed to hear it. Now, you say you suffer from the "nice guy problem" or "girls prefer assholes" or something similar. Do you really, really believe that?
Really? Oh my, it's worse than I thought...
Let me explain how this belief has come to be among men like yourself, sir.
To begin, there are two types of nice guys:
Type A nice guy is nice (of course,) self-confident, stable and okay-looking (note that I did not say "handsome" or "Fabio-like".) These men do have success with women! Quite a lot!
There also exist Type B nice guys. Type B guy is nice, but also desperate, lacking in confidence, unstable, or any other number of things.
If you think you're a Type A nice guy but can't understand your lack of success with women, then chances are you're type B.
Self-confidence is the secret. Really! Lack of self-confidence sits at the top of our mental lists of unattractive personality traits, whether we know it or not. Very few girls will be attracted to you if you lack confidence. Being "nice" doesn't hurt your chances with any women you'd really like to date, it's simply not enough by itself. Why do girls stay with assholes? Among other reasons, it's because they're confident, even in their jerkiness, and that's sexy.
Yeah, some girls are attracted to "Bad Boys." But the things that cause guys like you to believe that they represent the majority of women, well, you've seen them wrong.
Become more confident, but temper it before you become arrogant. Overeagerness is also very unattractive.
"But if I become more confident," I hear you asking, "Won't that mean I've ceased to be genuine? Some day a girl will come along who will appreciate me for who I am, and she'll make all the moves--a guy I know's friend had this happen once--"
Stop it! That's crap. Are you serious or not? I won't solve your moral dilemmas, and I'm not preaching entirely changing your personality, only a little therapy. And if your personality is that deeply associated with your lack of self-confidence, well, take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. Many persons going on anti-depressants have the same reaction; they find themselves having to begin anew, because they were so used to their pain it became a part of them--that's how they coped--and now they find a big part of what they knew missing.
Don't develop Stockholm Syndrome with your problems, Grasshopper. Read my words carefully. They are true. Now, go practice what I've preached. Today's lesson is over.