Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "your story is boring as hell, but I have to listen because I'm interested in you"

• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
• Ain't what I'm gonna be, ain't what I wanna be, but lord thank you I ain't what I used to be.
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
• I'm not sick but I'm not well
• Stories I Have Tried to Write
• I have more stories about trains for you
• I'm not a god, but I'm working on it
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm white, upper-middle-class in the richest country in the world-what need have I for God?
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• They think I'm crazy, but I know it's real
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• The Children's Story... (but not just for children)
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• I Meant to have but Modest Needs
• I'm not a rocket scientist, but
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• Swim with the fishies, but remember you have wings
• I'm sorry sir, but it appears that the abyss hasn't put you on the guest list...
• but what's the moral of the story?
• she doesn't write, doesn't tell you stories, but somehow it's her words that spring to mind at those crucial, terrifying moments, and for that you are eternally grateful
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
• you have changed but the memory stayed the same
• I'm a cynical bastard because I care so much, dammit
• but the only power i truly have is the strength to let it go
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• What I'm trying to say is that I may have unconsciously plagiarized this
• When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night.
• A thousand years from now, we should have coffee and tell stories while the world disintegrates
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• How to say "No" and have people listen
• No, but I'll have a beer
• Don't assume that just because I'm promiscuous, all I want is sex
• I'm not anorexic, but I'm working on it
• Buying things just because they have cool packaging
• Because I want to. Because I'm good at it.
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• I'm tone-deaf, but it's okay
• Being a dickhead
• I'm not racist but...
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• Just because I say Happy Hanukkah doesn't mean I'm Jewish
• but mr can you maybe listen there's
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• We know we have fallen because we know who we are
• God Made Man Because He Loves Stories
• untie the boat and turn on the water i'm gone i'm gone i'm gone but it's alright
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• I'm nothing but a flower falling off a winter stem
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• Boring Story (user)
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• I was in heaven, I was in hell. Believed in niether but feared them as well.
• But this isn't a Cyberpunk story
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• we have the most gigabytes of infodata but we still shoot each other on the streets
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• the struggle continues, but at least i know i'm not alone
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• I'm looking at the river, but I'm thinking of the sea
• i might look like a grown person, but i'm just a tiny confused scientist
• I'm going to have to ask you to leave
• Shall I tell you stories of other stars: stars that you love, that deserve your love. Stars that do not disappoint, and disgust, and disgrace your love. Oh, I have hope they exist for your sake!
• You have to be in hell to see heaven
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• reading a sad story backwards doesn't make it have a happy ending
• Help! I'm going to have sex
• I have enthusiasm for everything that you like or are interested in!
• All you have to do is listen, and be ready.
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• because I have given up any care
• But I'm a Cheerleader
• Because everything is teetering nobody notices. But whenever something falls everybody knows.
• Because I'm an adult
• I'm no fucking Buddhist, but this is Enlightenment.
• I have a most elegant proof of that, but this node is too small to contain it
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• Things that no one told you...until now, because I'm telling you. Consider yourself fortunate
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• We have nothing to fear but fear itself
• We don't have what we need because we can't stop wanting
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• You can pulp a story but you cannot destroy an idea.
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• I'm not homophobic but...
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• I love you but I have to let you go
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• It ought to be broad daylight, but the shadow that envelops the story shows no signs of brightening
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• I'm cold, but I'm happy
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Laugh now, because tomorrow I will be ten stories tall and I could just step on you if I want
• Cheers, my lips have frozen but hemlock goes down easy
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• I Think I'm a Pervert, But I'm Totally Over It
• War is hell but men like it
• But alas, I have no badger to offer you
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• I might not believe in God, but I sure as hell believe in the power of prayer
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• The FOOLS! They laughed at my theories at the university, but I'll have my revenge! I'll have my REVENGE!
• Did we listen to pop music because we were miserable? Or were we miserable because we listened to pop music?
• I'm poor, but I'm happy
• I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
• But I have seen the sun just once
• I miss you because I have nothing else to miss
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• i'm not sure but i'm listening
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• excuse the pencil but I'm inkless
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• i hope i make it out, because i have a lot to tell you

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