grief again
the lover I know so well
arrives
I slide into your arms
so familiar
as if it is home to me
and I cycle through
anger, bargain,
I was never much for denial
that seems like cowardice
not to face truth
quickly
so familiar
I wonder if
I should take time off
as I promised myself
if needed to heal
do I want to heal
that is the question
I could work harder
until my immune system
fails again
and calls the strep
to put me down
I could sit in the chair
and this time
let the sand run out
12/18/15