Findings:
- That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
- if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
- I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
- nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
- What is it like to have a crush on someone?
- How the West Was Lost
- Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
- I think I was watching the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
- I have never been sure that you knew quite how much I loved you
- How to have fun in post-Civil War New York
- How to have a Scotch Tasting
- Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
- The volume of stuff you own is directly proportional to how far you have to move
- How was your trip to London, Dan?
- This wasn't how it was supposed to be
- How to say "No" and have people listen
- That's Just How He Was
- If I didn't ask, I'd never know (how much you hate me)
- How the Earth was destroyed
- I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
- Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
- I have been alone while I was with many girls
- How and why do we (humans) have culture?
- I have a small penis. How can I sexually pleasure a woman?
- Coloring your name in Quake 3
- how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
- How Kissing Was Discovered
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
- If you didn't have free will, would you know it?
- I didn't want to know where I was conceived
- How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
- no exact amounts since I have no idea how many people you feed
- Sex with a chicken
- I didn't know such things when I was young
- Live Era '87-'93
- The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
- At least I didn't have to pay...
- The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
- man when you are telling me how it was
- How Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man have sex
- if music was a woman you would have a mistress
- It was one of the worst things I have ever done
- How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
- How many "Spinal Tap" drummers have died, in total?
- How to have a great vacation in China without money
- You, standing
- How to "Have People"
- how many lines of code have you written?
- How can I need kisses I have never felt?
- I didn't always have this cool job
- I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
- How He Didn't Understand Her Whichever
- When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
- How to really brush your teeth (Yes, you have been doing it wrong)
- Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
- if I was doing it for compliments I would have stopped a lot sooner
- Most people underestimate how serious things have gotten
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- How Eulenspiegel, along with the other boys, was made to eat too much bread
- WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
- She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
- i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
- By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
- How the mighty have fallen
- Charles Bridgeman
- I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
- How was Trump at Munich?
- middle of summer how crazy it was
- you never once told her how beautiful she was nor how much you truly loved her
- relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
- This is the story of how I was killed in Peru
- The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
- I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
- How will you know you didn't get it all wrong?
- I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
- And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
- No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
- How the West Was Won
- The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
- I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
- The "How many partners have you had" question
- I will fucking REMOVE your writeups about Cloud Strife and how he's cool and mysterious and shit
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- How can an atheist have morals?
- How we have grown apart
- How many geniuses have we lost this way?
- How can we have a Y2K problem in a country with both Microsoft and Intel?
- She didn't know what outside was anymore.
- you have all these dreams, you poor fucking fool
- She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
- What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
- Sex in a small car
- It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
- How to have an epileptic fit
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- How to have an out of body experience
- How many genes do we (humans) have?
- By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
- How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
- How to have plausible deniability if caught in a medical situation involving rectal insertion.
- How to Pretend to Have a Job
- They didn't have the heart
- How do you know if you have a sinus infection?
- What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
- How does the Military Selective Service Act apply to individuals who have had a sex change?
- How to clean a bathroom
- How long have you known?
- Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
- i did that on purpose. i didn't have to miss.
- How long have you been in love with her?
- By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
- I didn't know how to keep it but I couldn't throw it away.
- If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
- How to have lesbian sex
- somehow I felt hopeful, as if I have finally found a ragtag army of fellow fighters, none of whom cared what socks I was wearing
- When someone was willing to drown with me, I really didn't want to drown anymore
- Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
- However, we have birds and wonderful green trees and rain.
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- How could you ever have enough?
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- The unending hatred elves have of debt and how it needlessly complicates simple social interactions: an essay
- How we could still have a President Trump
- How was the Bible canonized?
- How wonderful to come home full of quiet coals
- Just how perfect was Jesus?
- How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
- How America was mapped
- Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
- How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
- How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
- I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
- I really have to get out of this fucking country
- all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
- Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
- How was the play, Missus Lincoln?
- The train station was fucking freezing and
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- Running a BBS
- For God's sake, just have another election
- get a clue
- clue phone
- Forget fountains of eternal youth; we need a fountain of clues
- Conservation of Clue
- Give Us A Clue
- We got along OK, until one day we didn't
- What I Didn't Learn in Church Last Sunday (and wish I had)
- I didn't change anything!
- We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us.
- Political Parties that didn't quite make it
- Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
- The drugs that didn't ease the pain
- If I didn't write
- The note I didn't give to the woman in the bookstore
- We Didn't Go to Harvard
- I Didn't Know
- I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
- We Didn't Mean To Go To Sea
- Of course the cops didn't catch us!
- I should've fought harder for you and I didn't, I'm sorry
- I never metajoke I didn't like
- Wonderful day
- I didn't want to know that
- Things Didn't go Differently
- the nodeshell that didn't want to be rescued
- the fire didn't hurt me, though---we're old friends
- The cat that didn't want to be rescued
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