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September 30, 2001 (idea)
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by
spazm
Tue Dec 04 2001 at 1:01:41
Last night
, while I was sitting at my
desk
, I was startled my a huge thud and a crash outside. I jumped up and saw that the
trellis
below had been broken. ...pieces of it were swaying back and forth. I thought someone was trying to climb up to my
balcony
, so I grabbed a
knife
and went to the screen door. Just then, Woosh! BOOM! A huge potted plant flew from above and shattered on the porch below. Then a sack of dirt, some glass dishes, and other assorted stuff started to rain down.
I called up to the balcony above: "
Linda
?
LINDA?
"
All activity up there froze. There was no reply.
"Is everything alright up there?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." she replied
weak
ly.
Then the barrage continuted. More heavy objects bashed the trellis to bits.
There was a pause in the destruction, and then Linda
scream
ed,
"
ORLANDO
! WAKE UP!"
"ORLAANNDO!!"
"WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"
(She went on like that for a while)
She was pleading by this time. "WHERE IS MY CRYSTALLL?" "
ORLANNDO! PLEASE WAKE UPP!!
"
More stuff began to fall and crash. I was getting really
freaked
out. I pictured a man named Orlando, dead of
Crystal Meth
overdose
somewhere in the apartment above me. I heard a siren. Then a
police officer
was calling up from below. I went back to the screen door, and he pointed his flashlight in my face.
"What's the problem?" he asked.
Not wanting to get involved, I simply pointed upwards. He directed his flashlight there and started speaking to Linda.
"Mamn, what's wrong?"
"NUUTHIIIINNNNNG." ,she replied, in a crazy, fucked up voice that I can't convey in text.
"I'm coming up, OK?" he asked.
"OKAYY, but nothing is wrong!" she said.
Silence. A short while later, the cop had left. I guess she was telling Orlando (our city) to wake up and help her find her crystal, and there was no dead guy named Orlando. I felt better.
The ground below my window is a disaster area. I sure hope they don't try to blame this mess on me!
So there's the 411 for you. Watch out for falling flower pots!
September 29, 2001
October 1, 2001
Dead baby jokes
September 30, 2000
A rant about the worst professor I have ever worked with
Martini of Death
damaged psyche
What to do if you've got too many votes on your hands
Mnemosyne
Always check for evidence of alien abduction before going to bed with someone
Jennifer
Meiji
Steve Miller Band
Memory
Mail Order Pants
Red, red robin
September 30, 2003
September 30, 2002
Your success in life has been predetermined from birth
Folsom Street Fair
On Rock Hill Road
October 30, 2001
September 25, 2001
September 21, 2001