christians

You got me. I've been cursing you for nigh on 7 years now, ever since I became disgusted with the inane, evangelistic, do-what-feels-good Christianity I was a part of. I've denied you existed. I've decided that if you did exist, you were in opposition to me. I've mocked you, berated you, harassed your followers and just generally behaved like the snottiest little bastard imaginable.

I've studied other religions for 5 of those years, desperately searching for something to fill the void in my soul. I've glimpsed the cold clarity of Nirvana. I've examined the ancient covenant with JHVH. I've even dabbled in the veneration of Moist Mother Earth, the stars, and the command of geometric reality. I've continued to hunger.

You, however, have never left me the Hell alone. You've continued to prod my heart, even at its coldest. You've sent me longings, desires, and prophetic dreams. You've plagued my waking hours with deja vu, so that I might never forget who the architect of my future really is.

There's a point where a rational man has to take his fingers out of his ears, stop singing "LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" and acknowledge the One speaking to him.

Here am I.

An old nomad responded to a boundless being and a revelation to humans began. The revelation flowed on through a ram for child offering.

A baby saved from death, took life himself when grown and fled to the desert. The man saw a boundless being in an unquenched fire in the desert. The being spoke from the unquenched fire and the man listened. The young man asked the boundless being for a name and was told “I Am”. I Am changed this immature young man into an obedient leader of people after this desert encounter.

An emperor through hubris accomplished I Am’s will, a people sprung from the nomad led by the man who watched unquenched fire. No force of this world stood in this people’s way, I Am led as fire in the night and a thunderhead by day.

Even as the people disobeyed, I Am prepared a way and a time through forty of years of wandering to accomplish his plan and deliver His people to their land.

Through generations after, the boundless being being showed his people what I Am means. I Am still sought individuals who responded to His command- respond they did, judges, prophets, and kings.

From the line of one of these kings I Am laced a thread through time that would reveal Himself to all human beings . It was an event foretold by prophets and longed for by this people who followed unquenched fire. Through long generations His people looked for the promised one.

Alas, I Am’s plan proved to be to boundless for many of His people to detect. A child born in a small town became unquenched fire. I Am’s people sought a warrior, an avenger . I Am provided what must be- a servant, a healer.

A wild prophet, a baptizer of people, saw I Am in a man. Some fishermen, and a tax collector too saw unquenched fire live and breathe. I Am, the boundless being, allowed Himself to be bound in flesh and blood.

I Am felt sadness, fear, tears and tiredness. I Am allowed His flesh and blood to be sold out, thorns cut His head, His creations struck I Am- ripped the flesh and blood to the bone. I Am was bound to a life-taking device, iron pierced the flesh and blood. I Am was life and death, eternity, pain, judgment, defeat... then darkness the boundless being became finite. Unquenched fire had allowed itself to be quenched. For three days a dark force hoped it had won out over I Am.

A fisherman, stains of bitter tears on his cheeks, looked in vain for quenched fire in a tomb. None who followed I Am as man had yet to comprehend that unquenched fire can never be put out. The thread through time was now at its nadir, the way for all humans, to know I Am lay completed. I Am remained alive as man, even after His death, long enough for a doubter to feel the iron-pierced flesh. Three times He renewed his fisherman friend back to fellowship, then I Am again became unbounded.

I Am was now revealed to all- to any. Unquenched fire not seen by humans from the outside, but felt from within. I Am reached all the back to the old nomad,and even before and all the forward to you and beyond.

The boundless being bounded himself to unbind you. I Am became life from death so that we humans could do the same.

Look for unquenched fire in your being, come to know I Am as man, then I Am will never be gone from you or you from I Am.

A corollary to this argument against religion is that people should just "figure things out for themselves". This translates to the astonishing claim that, unlike every other subject in the world, when it comes to spirituality you should completely ignore the accumulated knowledge and wisdom of those who have gone before and basically reinvent the wheel. I guess the logical extension of this would be that once you have figured something valuable out on your own you should refrain from writing it down or telling other people about it, lest you be guilty of "telling them what to think".

The only other area I can think of where similar advice is given is in writing - would-be writers are often told to ignore the advice and instruction of seasoned professionals and just write from the gut. The result is, well, crappy writing. Similarly, someone who tries to build his faith from the ground up without any external input is likely to overlook issues and fallacies that have already been dealt with by others. The result - bad theology.

As writer Clay Shirky pointed out in a different context, "... learning from experience is the worst possible way to learn something. Learning from experience is one up from remembering. That's not great. The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you: "Don't go in that swamp. There are alligators in there."