So you're showing interest in backpacking Thailand. Probably because you just finished your education, have very little money, but want to see the world, while you're still young. So you've decided you get a part time job, buy a plane ticket to some far off country, and teach English or something else, to make your way by.

Hey, that's great and all, but let me give you some advice. I see people like you quite often, in fact I teach English to make some quick bucks too. Let me give you some advice though, because you just may end up on your ass on the other side of the world.

Number one! Learn to speak Thai, unless if you're planning to go to a real remote area, then learn the appropriate dialect. First start off learning the names of common food dishes (Thai dishes, not Farang dishes). Also numbers are quite important, as you will want to be able to barter. Bartering is very common in Thai society; if you don't know how to barter you will spend way too much money. Thai is a very simple and easy language to learn, others will argue against this point. Mostly because they're not dedicated enough to understand the language. I have seen farangs fluent in the language in as little as two months (A German South African, who could already speak: English, Afrikaans, German, and Zulu). The reasoning for learning to speak Thai is that it will be cheaper for you negotiate prices and such. Tuk Tuk drivers will often over price if you can't speak Thai, but if you can they will think that you will know an appropriate price. Also finding a teaching job will be much easier because you have the extra qualification of speaking Thai. You must put yourself ahead of the pack, because you're not the only one who is looking for the job. If you learn to read and write, power to you! Also make sure you read up on the cultural does and don'ts. You may be foreign, but the cultural rules still apply.

*I've been told the Thai language books by Benjawan Poomsan Becker, are real great.

Number two! Ok you may have the intentions of getting to some remote ass village. Yet most of you end up chilling in Bangkok on Khao San Road. Especially after you discover that the rest of Thailand isn't quite a 'party' nation. Problem with Bangkok is that, it's expensive and everyone speaks English anyways. If you want to have a good Thai experience, get to the boonies. You might think I'm being patriotic in this, but Issan is the probably the best area, as it's the poorest part of Thailand. In fact when you get off the airplane ask a taxi to take you to "Satani Kon Song" also make sure you include the "chai meter", as it will be cheaper to use the meter then a negotiated price (He might argue, but trust me use the meter!). Then grab a bus. Skipping Bangkok will save you tons of money, hassle, etc... In fact Bangkok is the same as any other big city in Europe or North America. On the same note Pattaya, Chiang Mai, Phuket, and Krabi are in the same group as Bangkok, and you will only waste your money there.

Number three! In fact, save yourself some hassle, find a job before coming to Thailand. Find someone, e.g. ME, to help you find a job in Thailand before arrival. This works very well in that you can get a work visa as opposed to a tourist visa. Thus you are allowed to legally work in Thailand, plus a work visa allows you stay for a lot longer. With a tourist visa, you would have to jump a border and come back to get a new visa or you'll be spending some time in a Thai jail. If you stay legally for five years in the Kingdom of Thailand, you will receive permanent resident status. Basically you get all the rights of a citizen without officially being one. As a foreigner you cannot purchase property in Thailand, but as a permanent resident you can. It is near impossible for a foreigner to actually become a Thai citizen.

Number four! Thai relationships, avoid making friends with other foreigners. You're in Thailand! Make friends with Thai's. It's difficult because Thai's will judge you based on your skin colour and will be scared to speak English to you. This is where you have to approach them, and speak Thai with them! You should avoid prolonged relationships with the opposite sex. If you choose to date while in Thailand, be real careful. Quite often your partner is in it because "All foreigners are rich". Also see my article on Old White Oaks, Biased View. If you have Thai friends, you will be capable of learning more about the Thai way of life. Please take note that you should read up on Thai culture, as you may find the way some Thai's act with friends is offensive. If you get food shoved in front of you, eat at least a little bit of it. Eating is Thailand's national pastime. Also think about the purchase of a cheap cell phone, Thailand may be a third-world nation, but almost everyone has a cell phone. It's hard for me to imagine life without a cell phone in this country. Without a cell phone, you will have a bitch of a time being in contact with friends.

Number five! Maybe you're coming to Thailand to teach a little bit of your religion. Hey that's cool, but don't expect anything of it. Most Thai's are devout Buddhists. They enjoy learning about other religions, but don't expect to convert anyone. In fact you should take the time as well to learn a little bit about Buddhism. In fact here's a little secret *DON'T TELL ANYONE*, but there's a real easy way to travel cheaply in Thailand! Ok here it is... Buddhist temples give out free accommodation. Shhh, or the hotel gods will be angry! Accommodation can be quite stingy, and generally men are not allowed to sleep in the same quarters as the women. Plus if you're looking to party, this isn't a good option; also drinking is a Buddhist sin. Living in a Buddhist temple is a great opportunity to learn about Buddhism and to practice meditation. In fact if you're real serious, ordain as a monk! In Thai culture all men are supposed to ordain as monks (I already have). You can ordain for as little as a few days, a few weeks, a couple years or until you die. Life as a monk will really allow you to concentrate on your Buddhist studies, and to practice meditation. As you don't have to worry about things such as feeding yourself, or clothing, finances etc... While ordained as a monk, you can make yourself useful by teaching English. In fact offer to translate books from Thai to English, so that they can be made available to foreigners.

Well if you live your Thai life like I've suggested, I believe you will have a truly wonderful experience. But life isn't going to be wonderful like in the European/American sense. You will have to make use of squat toilets. You will have to shower by physically pouring water out from a bucket. You will probably sleep on the floor. You're only going to find High-speed-slow internet (net cafés may have DSL, but most servers are in America, and that's a Pacific Ocean away). You will sweat a lot, unfortunately during summer (February-June), temperatures can reach mid to high forties. You will get wet, during the rainy season (June-November), it will rain almost everyday. You will most likely have digestion problems with the food, even Thai people do. But you will have one of the most worth while experiences of your life.

*Please note it's not my fault if you get screwed over on your travels. If you have any serious problems in Thailand, proceed immediately to your country's consulate.

Somebody obviously went native...
Last I checked, you needed three uninterrupted years on the same visa to begin applying for permanent residence. Also, you will be given a test of Thai. For this, you should prepare for their Thai sixth grade exam for foreigners.

You can circumvent all these rules legally if you enter Thailand with 2M Baht (about US$60K) in your pocket, or have a pension of about a thousand a month. Thais like foreign money. On those terms, they'll let you stay as long as you want.
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