Something I will never understand is the design of the German toilet. I've seen hundreds upon hundreds of German toilets. I've seen them with pull handles, push buttons, levers with stops, and levers without stops. I've seen them in airports, trainstations, trains, hotels, schools, houses, dorms. But, the one thing they (almost) universely have in common is: the inspection plate

At least, that's what we have come to call it. The large majority of German toilets have this...shelf onto which all materials fall. And it all stays there until you flush. (In which case, a courtesy flush takes on new meanings.) And despite how you might try to not look, you will. That's what it's there for: inspection.

Now, I'm assuming the idea is to reduce water usage. And in that sense, they work well. Flushing consists of higher pressure water (at least than in the US). Furthermore, it's very common and considered rude not to clean the toilet after each use (namely due to the design) so that multi-flushing is unneeded. There's a toilet brush next to every commode and the facilities should be clean when you leave. So, in general the end result is not much different than the "sit-in-water" theory of toilets, just the experience.

Ah, freeborn; your youthful vision of some ecological reason for this insidious device is understandable, but quite wrong. Quite wrong, indeed.

First of all, you must understand the German people as a whole. Go into the Frankfurt airport, for instance. There you will see a Sex Shop which asks you to peruse the items on the shelf. You think you'll see Hustler or Penthouse? Wrong, my schnitzel sojourner.

You will see magazines, in full view of God and everyone, with pictures of people taking a crap on each other. Don't ask me why the Germans are so into this. It's a mystery. Perhaps guilt for the Holocaust has driven them to this level. Who knows. I can't even blame this one on Socialism, although you know I'd like to try, don't you?

OK, so I'm in Germany visiting a girl. She lives in an apartment with another girl, and after a long plane flight (with much liquor involved) and a good night's sleep, I awake with three things in mind. Coffee, cigarette, and a good shit. Coffee's fine, cigarette is good, and then I go to door number three.

After my relaxing few minutes on the throne, I go to flush and notice that my leavings are staring me in the face. "What the hell is up with this toilet?" I scream through the bathroom door to my friend.

"Well, as a nurse, I can tell you that it is often good to see what you have done."

"Hell, I know what I've done, OK? And I want it to be underwater, OK?"

Does the Sex Shop have anything to do with this? Was the girl/nurse right in saying it's a "health matter?" Either way, it has nothing to do with Mother Earth; believe me, freeborn.

It's deeper than that.

Something I will never understand is the design of the German toilet. I've seen hundreds upon hundreds of German toilets. I've seen them with pull handles, push buttons, levers with stops, and levers without stops. I've seen them in airports, trainstations, trains, hotels, schools, houses, dorms. But, the one thing they (almost) universely have in common is: the inspection plate

It's nothing sinister, as Dannye fears. Germans eat a lot of raw and almost-raw meat, indeed the word delicatessen, a shop that sells among other things, meat products to be eaten raw, is German. The shelf is to allow an individual to check themselves for evidence of parasites. It is a sensible precaution, since as we were taught at school, worms can propogate by eggs getting from the anus onto fingers during use of the toilet, then if the hand is not thoroughly washed, the next victim gets the parasite orally after the eggs have been passed on by preparing food or even touching something like a plate. The egg will pass through the digestive system and lodge in the lower intestine where it will eventually hatch into a parasite and begin producing eggs of its own.

It is of course possible that this has an effect on the stereotypical German: that they are obsessed with inspecting things for cleanliness, order and efficiency. Sigmund Freud, another German, coined the term anal retentive to describe an individual who is preocupied with details, a characteristic often associated with Germans.

You are totally wrong.
The true reason is that it doesn't splash the yellow toilet water onto your arse when you take a dump.
Also, it saves a lot of water.

Btw. Germans quite rarely eat raw meat or fish.

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