currently at the top of my list of complaints about my job are people who bring their children to the computer lab with them. because small, bouncy people are often distracting, the parent shoos the child off to 'go play.' however, the child is not allowed to leave the computer center. and there ain't a hell of a lot to do in here if you're too young to look up pr0n on the web. thus, people's young offspring have nothing to do but pester the green vests.

with some lab techs, this is fine. it's not like we have a terrible lot to do (witness how much noding i get accomplished while 'working'). some consultants are good with kids and can keep them entertained for hours at a time. fine. but when those colleagues take their lunch or smoke breaks, the kids they abandon turn to me, expecting that i will take over as their temporary best friend.

firstly, this is not a good thing because i do not get along very well with children. i have a difficult time understanding them, as i'm sure they do me. the little girl who was just here kept telling me she was going away, then returning seconds later, much to my frustration, as i thought she would go off and entertain herself for a while. the most amusing thing i have to offer little people is clothing made of interesting, shiny materials.

secondly, how do the parents know that i am to be trusted with their children? while they're plugging away on their final project for their beginning excel course, i could be molesting their babies, or kidnapping them and selling them to slave traders. if you're going to bring your children with you when you leave the house, for fuck's sake, don't let them run rampant in strange public places without checking on them frequently and keeping them within sight.

no, the people in this computer lab place entirely too much faith in me. one of these days, i'm going to begin stockpiling little children in the supply closet (i'll tell them we're playing hide and go seek), and not giving them back. then we'll just see how they like that. i could have my own little army of minions.. this could be fun.