• If she were an insect, she'd be a moth in search of a flame
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?
• When she woke up, her hands were still dreaming
• Sometimes friendships were meant to be destroyed
• Who Wants to be the Next US President?!
• she can scream so loud you'll be looking for your ears on the floor
• Just because she's nice to you doesn't mean she wants to fuck you
• There were only twelve raindrops, she counted them on the windshield under heavy soft skies
• grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
• I come home, she lifted up her wings. I guess that this must be the place.
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• President George W. Bush's speech aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003
• Her perception of how gorgeous she is will be evident in her lack of movement during sex
• Susan Goldman, who has cervical cancer, is partly thankful as she braces herself but changes her mind as she's sprayed with burning jet fuel.
• It's better to be alone than to wish you were
• If you meet a strange, confident woman, she may well be a witch
• On she went. The woods were deep and still.
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• Where we're headed, you'll be looking backwards
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character
• We'd all be better off if shaking hands were making love, and children were found in the cabbage patch.
• They left the streets stained with blood, and their howling could be heard long after they were gone
• She is not a girl, she is a woman. No, wait, she's a girl.
• The stars were bright that night she left me forever
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• She tells stories as if she knows what the ending will be.
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• Tears must be shed to make room for the laughter
• It's not that we're more attractive in the darkness or that one of us may be drunk
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• Each thing she learned became part of herself, to be used over and over in new adventures
• She was too beautiful to be human
• Surah 60 She that is to be Examined
• Presidents of the United States who previously were Mayors
• She makes sniffing sounds, and I don't know if she's snorting coke or weeping
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• She must be what cocaine is like
• She teaches a night class. Psychology 100, to be precise.
• If ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers
• Her self image was not the force field she imagined it to be
• She could be a businesswoman
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• She's found the hole in reality. She knows its depth.
• She's smarter than me but she's also more quiet, therefore she has no personality which makes me feel better
• Speed limits were made to be broken
• Although you are right, you were wrong to be confident
• There will be nobody there to shed a tear
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• she can't remember what it's like to be found
• And when she turned into a man, we were so proud
• If there were a slight, let it be fulsome
• If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be? (registry)
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• If she really wanted to fit in, she'd get a smaller dog.
• She opened her eyes and spoke in a very normal voice, just as if she were sane
• All the things she had at one point wanted to be
• Things never were what they used to be
• she couldn't go and be beautiful
• Letter of President Davis to President Lincoln
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• A tentative laugh, she expected to be interrupted
• No One Here Is Ever Going to be President: Noders raise things in the city where things fall down
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• If you were a perfume, your name would be "Butterflies"
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• Babe-raham Lincoln (user)
• Lying, cheating, cunt of a person: Hi, that'll be me.
• Take a melody, simple as can be
• The next time they would come, I would not be here.
• my promise is broken—words will never be over
• The second chance you give could be your last
• Your dog might be evil...
• You are not Hunter S. Thompson. Don't be stupid.
• Let us be our own pornographers
• Lincoln Stein
• A depressed Lincoln avoids talk of his broken engagement, January 20, 1841
• Lincoln Road
• President's Choice
• President's Day Nightmare
• President George W. Bush's remarks on Intelligence Reform: August 2, 2004
• Shed
• Mistaking discarded clothes for shed skin
• In Every Shade She's Eggs
• She sells sea shells
• I knew she wasn't faking
• She Loves You
• She is Overheard Singing
• I don't tell her these things, and she doesn't ask
• She Came and Went
• She kills me
• She left these broken things
• she falls
• when she saw the funny side, we introduced my child bride to whisky and gin
• That's what she said
• She practices her speech
• She Looks Good, but She Has an Ugly Heart
• She disappeared as if he had only dreamed her
• "I'm sure your song is beautiful," she laughed
• Wish You Were Here
• In case you were wondering about cramps
• The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• Tenchi, go get some more *hic* TEA!
• What did you love when you were a kid?
• When We Were Mud
• Before they were famous
• We Were Soldiers
• eternity would be boring
• Where were you when the Space Shuttle Columbia exploded?
• My mother and your mother were hanging out clothes
• We were the young lovers before despair
• The best kind of bartender
• Here you are, here I am, here we were
• Damn it feels good to be a nurturing male
• We're gonna find the bastard and "reward" him.
• We must be traveling through time backwards
• I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
• Santa's festive fear mongering wasn't going as well as he'd hoped, but the other Santa and I were enjoying the gingerbread.
• The monsters of the past will be long forgotten by the time the general populace is ever forgiven
• The Egyptians trained monkeys to be waiters
• Your poem must fit entirely in the box below to be eligible for the contest
• My mother is convinced I want to be a nudist
• I Won't Be Home For Christmas
• When you know things are just not meant to be
• I fear I will be nothing
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• not as funny as it used to be
• Reality can only be predicted on a statistical basis
• It's easy to be charming on the internet
• I Just Want You To Be Happy
• A whimper would be fine
• Religion doesn't allow me to be who I am
• He didn't want to be Gary anymore
• Be appropriate
• My cat may be the anti-Christ... what else is new?
• Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law
• Judge not, lest ye be judged
• Why would a lapsed Catholic want to be married in the church?
• How to be a good evil villain
• You might be a Washingtonian
• Spend an hour with us and you'll never be the same
• Two Shall Be Born
• What can be better than that?
• Six Inches Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of
• It's nice to be heard, dear
• I have a feeling it will be in my dreams
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• Let it never be said I slept through it. I never sleep
• This would be so dirty if we weren't all professionals
• I met her today, the girl I used to be
• The notion that nature can be calculated inevitably leads to the conclusion that humans too can be reduced to basic mechanical parts
• Lest ye be a blasted hypocrite
• Then the walls started to bleed again and I just KNEW I'd be the one cleaning it up.
• Can the Cross be Saved?
• Lincoln Log Bongo Drum
• Lincoln's response to Joshua Speed's marriage, February 13, 1842
• George Lincoln Rockwell
• President's Trophy
• French Constitution: The President of the Republic
• President's Daily Briefing
• Wow, you're the President!
• Shed a Little Tear
• shed light
• She Moved Through The Fair
• what she kisses twice
• All That She Wants
• She was thinking of a boy in California who had a couch and a job
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• I don't think she even knows that I make her smile
• she gave herself that holocaust haircut. cinnamon colored clippings cover the motel bedspread like sprinkles.
• I put my head down and hoped to God she wasn't looking at me
• And she, with her beautiful words and such a fire burning inside
• Doors and windows open, she screams "COME ON, MOTHERFUCKER" at the hurricane
• little pieces of her tragically poetic attempts at being loved that she was startlingly aware of, today

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