Seldom do the names of porn stars grace the lips of politicians and the media alike--at least, not in public. Yet in 1991, the name of a notorious male actor from the 1970s and 80s was on everyone's dirty little minds. That man, ladies and gentlemen, is Long Dong Silver. I set out to find the truth about Long Dong for the unofficial PornQuest 2006. Here's what I uncovered:

Long Dong was from Bermuda, a dark-skinned man with hair that was sometimes dyed silver. Like so many things near Bermuda, the rest of his existence is something of a mystery. Some websites I visited claim that Long Dong's real name was Daniel Arthur Mead; others say his birth name was John Cook. Sources can't even agree on whether he's alive or dead. What we do know about Long Dong was that he had a relatively short but infamous porn career, during which he often appeared to plunder booty with 18 inches of penis. It seems popular opinion that his actual size was much smaller; many believe Long Dong wore a prosthetic during his films.

During the Clarence Thomas Supreme Court confirmation fiasco, Anita Hill asserted that Thomas had made reference to the porn star's size when they worked in the same law office. She told FBI agents that he'd actually compared his own penis to that of Long Dong. The confirmation hearings climaxed when Senator Orrin Hatch asked, "Did you ever use the term "Long Dong Silver" in conversation with Professor Hill?" Naturally, an orgy of publicity ensued during which journalists, late night comedians, and news anchors were more than eager to slip Long Dong Silver into their um... acts.

In searching for a filmography for Long Dong, I was unable to find much. Apparently, porn wasn't exactly out in the open in the early 1980s. I was able to find a 2005 documentary of Long Dong called, cleverly enough, Long Dong Silver. He is also featured in 2003's Big Boys Of Porn and, according to the Internet Adult Film Database, he also starred in two Blue Vanities films (1988 and 1995) and Porno Bizarro Glitz in 1995.

If you'd like to see what I saw, you little voyeur, you can check out sexualrecords.com, cnn.com, iafd.com, or your favorite porn directory.

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