In my 15 years of marriage I have made an extensive study of what makes the perfect wife and have been privileged on many occasions to hear the opinions of people on this matter. These are set out below.

According to my mother-in-law

• Slim
• Pretty
• Quiet and respectful
• Grew up on a farm, and can talk farming for hours
• Sporty
• A good housekeeper
• Has a nice, secure, 'suitable' little job like secretary or receptionist
• A firm disciplinarian with her children (and will have more than one)
• Enjoys sewing, knitting, gardening and can clothe and feed her family from her efforts
• Centres her social life around her family at all times

According to my husband

• Me

It should be noted that these lists have a 0% overlap