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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass"

• Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
• We don't swim in yer toilet, so don't fuck us over or you'll need 2 wheelchairs, fool: An Partie
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• Don't wait up for me
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• tied up now fuck me (user)
• Take Off My Pants and Tell Me You Love Me and I'll Laugh in Your Face and Call You a Slut
• Don't call me white
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• You're either saving my life or you're killing me. I haven't decided which.
• I know you don't read too good so I'll write slow
• When you make your own mother cry you know you've fucked up
• May the world be a better place when I wake up
• Fuck Me Like You Mean It
• Ruining your illusions of me. Or cementing them.
• What do you know of me, or I of you?
• Why some guys don't pick up on hints from women
• Please don't tell me how to do my job
• If you don't want us to look at your breasts, don't shove them in our faces
• "Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils."
• Don't give up the ship!
• Fuck it or kill it
• Sweep me up
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• Don't let me die nervous
• Don't make me come to Vegas
• You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here.
• If you ask me about autumn, I'll tell you about
• Is it me or are there more bisexuals these days?
• Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
• "Don't die to go to heaven, start in on Doctor Pepper and end up on whiskey!!"
• Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
• Don't You (Forget About Me)
• give me the truth or nothing
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• Don't fuck the corpses
• fuck you pay me
• You are at the beginning of your next trillion years, and you can spend it with us, or you can spend it curled up and shivering.
• Tell me what's real and I'll learn to be happy
• Forgive me for who I am when I wake up
• Lightning Bolt
• I Don't Wanna Grow Up
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
• Don't talk about me behind my back
• Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
• Don't you dare nurture me!
• She cleaned up for me at least.
• Don't leave me alone
• I hate you. Please don't leave me.
• Don't Deny Me (user)
• My Shit's Fucked Up
• Motivate me to move and I'll give you a reason to stay in bed
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• Don't Give Me Names
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• they don't know what they'd do without me
• the way you don't look at me
• Keep a room somewhere for me, I'll find it on my way back.
• Is that massive cerebral hemorrhaging, or are you just happy to see me?
• Put That Thing Back Where it Came From or So Help Me
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• They grow up. No one told me.
• They don't touch me the same way
• You really shouldn't let people you don't know tie you up
• Don't Pass Me By
• "for the last time: Up here they don't wear Lederhosen!": A christmassy eurotrash nodermeet.
• Your piercing intelligence would undo or invigorate me
• Boy meets me, boy becomes infatuated with me, boy realizes I take up space, boy runs like hell
• Morrison's Lament
• Please let me wake up and find myself found
• shooting lightning bolts from my fingers
• His name came up like a match on wooden me
• O Lord Thou crackest me up
• It's Me or the Dog
• fuck me gently with a chainsaw
• I'll be you and you'll be me
• Give me head or the monkey gets spanked
• Lifetimes are catching up with me
• Don't call me Asian
• Do I imagine it, or does the flatmate fancy me?
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• Fuck me boots
• fuck me and marry me young
• Things are looking up, so I'll just stand here and wait for a satellite to fall on my head
• Give me an hour and I'll give you your dreams
• Here's your chance to live through me, to right your wrongs or wrong my rights
• Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
• You're so funny I think I'll kick your ass
• Baptist fear of dancing
• customers don't trust me
• Shag Me Up The Botty (user)
• I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me
• a light wind is enough to make me smile or cry
• Your first relationship will be nuked: Don't give up
• Fuck me harder
• Fuck you; I won't do what you tell me!
• The Mobility Divide: or why I want you to give me $20,000 in the 21st century
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
• Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
• Projects that use C techniques and call it C++ make me ill
• You Burn Me Up I'm a Cigarette
• Screw vs. bolt
• The thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is
• Don't ever empty half a bottle of washing up liquid into the cistern of a toilet
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• Fuck me if I'm wrong
• Hello, I take Zoloft. I am so gloriously mentally ill! You will love me, yes?
• Don't give up
• Drugs Or Me
• Don't you 'Don't get roused sugar' me!
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• Your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it
• I'll give up printf() when you pry my cold dead fingers from it
• the little moose that tears me up inside
• I take a long time to ejaculate. Do I have a problem?
• Don't fuck llamas
• Don't touch me when I'm screaming
• Don't hate me because I'm evil
• You Say You Don't Love Me
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• Don't Say You Love Me
• Please Don't Bury Me
• I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up (idea) mp3 (recording)
• If you're not going to worship me, get the fuck out of my bed
• Marry me and I'll buy you a new computer
• Don't stand so close to me
• I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
• Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
• Don't worry, this is only a costume that makes me look like an adult
• Roll me over and fuck me again
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• "Shut the Fuck Up" Theaters
• Marry, fuck, or kill?
• If you ask me about winter, I'll tell you about
• Federal "pound me in the ass" prison
• Don't call me Debbie
• Don't force your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me
• kill him dead; don't call me
• The New Face of the BSOD: An Adventure in Password Recovery
• Don't give me your hand me down love
• Shut Up or Stand Up - The Brag
• You Fucked Up!
• They have a trendy name for every different kind of fucked up.
• You couldn't make me give it up to cheapening words for all the empathy and adulation in the world
• Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• Don't tell me everything
• Don't call me "Generation X," call me a child of the Eighties
• I Don't Know Why You Don't Want Me
• In which book did Nietzsche claim that almost all higher culture is based on cruelty? Don't call me stupid.
• Fucked up ways to die
• fucked up criteria (user)
• Is Everything2 making me more or less intelligent?
• Shoo Fly Don't Bother Me
• Don't tread on me
• "I don't know if you are trying to upset me"
• Don't Blame Me
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• Fuck me
• Sally Jessy man, that shit'll fuck you up for life
• Don't Be An Ass (user)
• Love Me or Leave Me
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Don't miss me until I'm dead
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• If the wibbly thing is part of your anatomy, I guarantee you don't want the cat batting at it or licking it.
• Don't leave the house or you'll be shot for deserting.
• The USA has fucked up priorities
• the wonderful fucked up patchwork quilt that is humanity today

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