Goth boots, despite their
deceptive name, are boots that are
worn by a
goth. They come in a few varieties and flavours (that's flavor
for those who don't speak the
Queen's English) and can be identified
thusly:
Combat boots:
- worn by those in the military
- favoured by gothic punks and metalheads
- may be shiny and new or old and scuffed
- steel-caps are optional but common
- beware a militant nature in the wearer
- gives wearer ability to perform the difficult dance move known only as
the industrial stomp
Big fuck-off boots:
- ridiculous amount of extraneous straps and buckles
- big shiny bits
- cause feet to appear twice as large as usual
- steel-caps always present
- large soles giving wearer ability to be taller than usual
- also known as "Fuck You boots"
Thigh-high boots:
- commonly worn by females of the gothic persuasion
- only for those lean of figure
- laced or non-laced
- shiny to the point of direct gaze resulting in near-blindness under
harsh lighting
- designed to direct attention away from upper body regions
- opportunity to attempt the "Nice boots, wanna fuck?" pickup line
Dr. Marten(R) boots:
- usually identified by yellow-stitched soles
- also worn by gothic punks
- made in Great Britain since 1960
- often categorised by number of eyelets for laces ie. 8-ups, 10-ups,
16-ups etc.
And that's the skinny.
My comment on spelling was, in fact, intended to be humourous.