(idea) by DrT Sat Jun 07 2003 at 14:31:29

An Unofficial "A Series of Unfortunate Events" drinking game

Note the usage of sips instead of swigs or drinks. The reason being that you may well die of alcohol poisoning otherwise. On that note, I take no responsibility for anything that befalls you if you do actually try this out. It's your own fault for reading children's literature whilst drinking excessively.

One sip:

  • Each time Lemony Snicket feels it necessary to point out how horrible the book is and that you would be better off reading something else.
    • Sip again if he actually suggests a specific book to read as an alternative.
  • Each time you realise that a character's name mirrors that of a literary figure or author.
  • Each time the author feels compelled to define a word he's just used.
    • Sip again if he does so by having a character utilise a word and then explain it patronisingly.
      • Sip yet again if Klaus immediately replies by squawking that they already know what said word means.
  • Each time the three children are described as currently thinking about inventing, researching and biting, respectively.
  • Each time Violet ties her hair with a ribbon to keep it from her eyes.
    • Again if one of the other characters comments on this.
  • Whenever one of the Baudelaires gets separated from the other two.
  • Whenever Mr Poe is totally unhelpful.
  • Each time someone comments on the children's manners.
  • Every time Count Olaf or one of his henchmen refers to the children as "Orphans".
  • Each time the children have to do work.
  • If someone gives an excuse for not attempting to reveal Count Olaf's disguise.
  • When someone mounts a rescue.
    • Again if said rescue takes up the entire book.
  • If one of the three children comments on a V.F.D. red herring.
  • Every time Olaf demonstrates his vanity.
  • Whenever someone refers to Violet as Veronica or Klaus as Klyde.
  • Each time the Baudelaires are framed.
  • Each time Snicket describes something as being rude.
  • Each time someone does something that could get them killed.
  • Every time something ironic happens.
    • Again if Lemony Snicket points it out.

Two sips:

  • Whenever Count Olaf looks like he's about to slap someone.
    • Again if he does.
      • Yet again if the recipient of said slap is Klaus.
    • Again if the dangerous shine in his eye is commented on.
  • Whenever one of the Baudelaires is incapacitated.
  • If Lemony Snicket makes a literary allusion by some method other than his characters' names.
  • If the kids reminisce about something that happened in a previous book.
  • Each time someone recounts a historic fact.
    • Again if it's not Klaus.
    • Again if it's Violet.
  • If one of Count Olaf's disguises fools all of the children.
  • Whenever someone comments on the Baudelaires' slide into poverty and parentlessness.
  • Whenever all three kids team up to do some research.
  • When Count Olaf's disguise is first revealed.
  • Whenever Violet thinks about the promise she made to her parents.
  • Each time someone refers to Count Olaf's eye obsession.
  • On every occasion when someone is described as "shivering" or "shuddering".
    • Again if it's one of the Baudelaires.
      • Again if it's Violet shuddering due to someone making a threat against her.
  • Each time Sunny gets someone out of trouble.
    • Again if he does so without using her teeth.
  • Every time Count Olaf or one of his henchmen casually threatens to kill or maim someone.
  • If someone makes a very bad joke.
  • Whenever Klaus has an outburst.
  • Whenever someone describes someone else or something in a diplomatic way to avoid causing offence.
  • Every time Snicket mentions the Baudelaires having a sleepless night.
  • Every time Snicket compares the reader's life to that of the Baudelaires.
  • Whenever a baddie makes an ageist or sexist comment.
  • Each time a Baudelaire relative dies in suspicious circumstances.
  • Whenever Count Olaf anthropomorphises something.
  • If Count Olaf isn't encountered until the latter half of the book.

Three sips:

  • When Lemony Snicket uses a word incorrectly.
  • Anybody utilises a technology invented after 1960.
  • Whenever one of Count Olaf's disguises doesn't fool an adult.
  • Whenever Beatrice is mentioned other than in the acknowledgement at the start of the book.
  • Each time one of the characters quotes from or refers to a famous work of literature or legal precedent.
  • When a character uses sarcasm.
  • If any character breaks the fourth wall.
I like it!