Ever
wonder what a
last thrill would be like? While going through day after day of
drudgery,
boredom, and
lack of
excitement, ever wonder how to get a
good thrill?
I'm eighteen right now, and I wonder what's in store for me. There really doesn't seem to be much more to
life except to put up with
daily crap.
College is just a bunch of more studying. It's fun for a while, but when it comes down to it, I have another four years of
bookwork. After that I get to see what kind of job I can get after 22 years of
education and
life experiences. From what I can tell, most people don't like their
jobs.
I guess I could get married, but from what I can tell, most people don't like their
spouses. With 50% of
marrages failing, there must be a whole bunch more that aren't in happy marriages and wish they could
divorce. My
parents marrage certainly went to
hell and that
ended when I was six. What's the point to devoting your life to just one
woman if it's likely they'll
dump me, or that I'll dump them, or even
worse, get caught in an
unwanted marrage.
I suppose I could
pimp it and become a
playa, but there really isn't much purpose to that except
cheap sex. I might as well take my
college education that I'll have in a few years, and spend all the extra
cash I get from having a
degree on
strip clubs.
Some might suggest
drugs is the answer, but if I get
drunk, all I can think of is, "
Shit. I'm drunk. Now what?" Same with
pot or whatever
illegal substance there is out there. For some reason, I don't get as much of a
kick out of losing my mind as some others do.
Maybe I should become a
drug dealer. An
outlaw. Go
kill someone and run from the
cops. A
car chase down the
Los Angeles freeway would probably be a
thrill, except I would never be
evil enough to do that. Or maybe I just don't have the
balls.
Then there are those
monks who will pull
buses or lift
heavy objects with their
balls. It's a show of how well they can
concentrate and how well they have
mastered
calmness. I wonder if they get a
thrill out of it. They spend their days meditating and learning how to
concentrate better, but that just seems
boring and a
waste of
time to me. Besides, I would personally find pulling a bus with my
balls slightly
painful.
After thinking all this, my next though is, what's the point? Do you ever think that? There really isn't any point. Should I try to leave some kind of lasting
influence in the
world? I wouldn't be able to make any kind of
difference that would last 500 years. I could try, but
face it, only a very few people manage to get their name in
history books. But even then, so what? The people in
history books are
dead for goodness sake.
I guess I could have
children. You know, help the
over-population problem a bit. Raise and love some
child before he gets to go spend the weekend with his
mother, my
ex-wife. And of course, while I would try to raise a
morally right
child, the ex-wife-
bitch would probably just be buying the four year old
brat a ton of
gifts to win his
affection.
So what now? Why waste time? I'm probably not going to make a big
difference in the
big picture, I'm probably going to get
stuck with a
lifetime of work that I hate, and I'll just be wasting some of the
earth's
precious resources while doing it.
So next in my mind comes
stabbing myself with a
butter knife. I wonder how that would feel, and I figure it probably
hurts, especially if I break through the
skin. A
sharp blade would get through the
skin easier, but it probably
hurts too. The best way I could probably go, is to
jump off an
airplane with either no
parachute, or a
backpack that looks like a
parachute, but really contains
camping equipment. You know, like what always happens in the
cartoons.
Then I think about it some more. An
airplane is pretty
high. I would probably get
bored of
falling for so long. I might
scream and be
thrilled at first, but after a while, I would realize that the end is near, and accept it. I mean, there's not really much I could be doing accelerating towards the
ground at
9.8 m/s^2 from really high up. I would probably run out of
breath after
screaming for so long. I could take another
breath, but what would be the
point? It's not like I'm going to NEED that
O2 in a few seconds. So falling to my death would probably get pretty boring too.
So I come to a
conclusion. I would either find out seconds before I
smash into the
ground that I have
Matrix like
powers (then maybe I'll become
evil enough to
thrill myself for a while playing
mean jokes on people), or that
the last thrill really isn't that thrilling at all...