Day One of the somewhat ridiculously restrictive diet. I'm a little concerned. By around 2pm I was peckish, and by 4pm I was having serious trouble concentrating. By 6pm I was overcome with nausea at the sugar-free protein shake I had just had (the third of the day) for 'snack.'
This is going to be harder than I thought. It's harder than the test run a few weeks ago, by far. There are probably a few of reasons for that. First, I had a large supper last night ('Last Supper' and all) whereas last time I eased into it over a couple of days. Second, this time, I know I'm not allowed to kite out of it when it gets to be too annoying. Third, one of my primary coping tools was taken away. I read the nutritional info on the sugar-free Popsicles I had been planning to use as treat substitutes (because I actually do like them) and found that while they have no sugar, they have 4 grams of carbs. And I have to stay under 10 total per day, and the shakes have 1-2 each. Finally, fourth - this time, the diet - it's basically forever. The whole existential panic attack feeling was probably from that.
Now, I know I'll be able to eat real food again, probably in three months. But that's three months away, and when I can, I'll only be able to eat really tiny amounts of it.
Forever.
I also suspect my subconscious knows that if it can just get me to eat McDonalds, the surgery will possibly have to be postponed.
None of these things bode well for my peace of mind over the next two weeks.
Weight: 331.2