I'm in a an exotic country, maybe a futuristic city of Cairo? not quite sure, well anyway I'm with this guy friend, Ewan MacGregor to be exact, don't really know him, but he is my friend. There seems to be some action going on up ahead so we go to check it out. Suddenly there's these guys shooting at us, terrorist I think and then I run into Angelina Jolie, she's in her role as the Tomb Raider and she beckons for me to get into the car, while Ewan gets into a different one.
I get into a car with Angelina Jolie and my friend is in a car up ahead, we're chasing down this other car, or their chasing us and shooting at us constantly. I'm driving and the enemy swoops out in front of us from nowhere and I quickly tell her to duck while I pushed her down because they start shooting at us again. Angelina gets out her guns and is shooting but I tell her to switch and give me her gun and I'll shoot, while she drives. She does so and I try to start shooting, it is successful but rather hard because I'm like, "Goddamn it, my finger is too big to fit into the trigger" and it had the wierdest aim. I tell her "You have to get new guns girl." I finally shoot the tires of the enemy and the car goes swerving and we lose them.
Well since we're trying to get to a building and our car just kind of breaks down because it's been all shot up we get out and decide to run. On the way we run into some bosses that we have to defeat. Angelina takes on this really huge fat guy, though I think he was supposed to be Will Sasso and I'm supposed to take on Miranda Richardson who's dressed up like her Queen of Hearts character in Alice in Wonderland. Angelina tells me their special moves and it all starts coming back to me. Me and Angelina Jolie use to do this sort of stuff all the time, fighting people and getting shot at. I just haven't in a really long long time and I'm all out of shape for my skills. I tell Angelina "I'm screwed, Miranda only has to touch me once to inflict severe cuts and then use her power to leech the blood out of me." Angelina tells me "Not to worry we've fought these people before, can't you remember? Sure we don't win every time but it's fun!"
The fight begins, the first thing I do is play dead, well I tried to kill myself first so I didn't have to fight Miranda Richardson, she's too hardcore. But she sees through my trick and attempts to touch me while she's laughing evilly. I quickly jump out of the way and suddenly there's a crossbow in my hand. "Sweet!" Now I don't even have to get close to her, I just have to shoot at her, though it was still hard to move because you know, marshmallow feet in dreams. We win the fight easily for some reason and I feel embarrassed about whining about it before. We're in a dungeon like area now and we wander for a bit until we found a car, I drive and floor it out of the caves and we come into a city street.
Angelina directs me to some museum like building and we run upstairs. She says she has to get something, I follow her up and we're in this office looking room and there's these bones laid out on the ground. And this guy comes up to us, he's Egyptian I think, and he's like "can you guys guess what bones these are?" Apparently they had just excavated them and a new dig. Angelina Jolie and I guess for a few seconds. They guy use to be our teacher for Archaelogy and Paleontology. Angelina informs our teacher about me "She must have amnesia because she doesn't remember a lot of things and has forgotten most of the things that she could do, it's only been 5 years I don't think anyone could possibly forget how to do everything in 5 years and forget who they were," she says this frowning at me.
When exiting the building and walking down the stairs I see a guy I really hate, I can't really remember where I saw him last but I know I hate him, and he insults me, and I'm like "I can't take this anymore!" and I don't take the stairs but fly up to where the guy is, he starts running away. Angelina Jolie shouts "No!" and tries to stop me. My friends are outside and their wondering what the commotion is. They find out when a body comes flying out of a window and lands at their feet and I come following and continue to beat the guy up. Angelina Jolie had to pull me off to stop me and she just shakes her head. She says "I thought you stopped having your temper outbursts, I thought you said you could control it now." Boy did I feel bad!
Anyway it's going to be our last night in the city and Ewan MacGregor mentioned how he got a gig at some theater, they auditioned him once and wanted him. So he was like, if you guys can, come down. But he was only sure on the night of the show, he told me and my other friend but couldn't get a hold of Angelina. So I drive to her hotel and found her room, signed under a pseudynom. I informed her about the show and she got all dressed up and we left to watch Ewan MacGregor sing and one of my other friends do Opera? Wierd. Anyway the show is great and I drop most of the people off but I spend the night at Angelina's because I was staying in a shit hole room with our Paleontology teacher. All dusty and bugs. In the morning we all go our separate ways.
I see Angelina Jolie again in this restaurant type of place, I'm with another friend and we were eating lunch. This is after we all took planes to go back to our own homes, and mine was England, she told me she was going to the States but "Oh well". On the way out I stop to talk to her and she's like, I have something to show you, follow me. I tell my friend I'll catch up with her later. So I follow her and she starts talking about Barbies. She's all embarrassed at first but I'm like no it doesn't matter I'll go see them. Unbeknownst to me she was actually hinting to a large collection of Barbies. She kept trying to tell me she had like every single one. After that we headed out to another place my choice this time and I go to buy the PS2, I get the guy to pick it out and everything, somehow we're out in the streets and it's night time and Angelina is standing by the lamp post where there's light and I'm by the truck of the sellers. So I buy it and check my account it's like "you spent $550.00 you have $99,998,450 dollars left." I still felt bad about buying it and I told the guys if I could return it and they were like yeah. Angelina asks me why I didn't get it and I just shrug my shoulders.