I was walking through
Barrhaven, on my way to meet
Richard. My
leather trench coat was warm in the summer sun, and sweat threatened to wash my
makeup away, but I wasn’t concerned.
I passed a group of five
ravers, and they all started laughing as I approached. “Oh, you’re not trying to look like anyone,” one of them shouted at me, “are you,
Richard?”
I did my best to ignore them, and boarded a
bus. After some time, the bus circled a
mall, and passed one of the ravers. As the bus approached, he tore off his
hoody, and his
breakaway pants, revealing
leather, and
fishnets. I jumped off the bus, screaming at him, calling him a
hypocrite, a
liar, a
fraud. I grabbed a
pizza from a passing pedestrian, and threw it at him, before chasing him through the mall, hurling
items and
insults.
…
The rave
was due to start any moment, and
Corey had yet to find us any
drugs. We didn’t care, we were looking for anything…
pot,
hash,
acid,
mushrooms,
DXM,
DMT,
ecstasy,
ketamine,
blow,
smack, whatever. Anything. Anything to fuck us up, to take us out of this work, to make us forget, make us dance, make us special.
The
VIP’s were asked to come inside now, which meant we had to stop our search, and head into the rave. When I arrived in the VIP lounge,
Paul K. had already found acid, as had
Jessica, and one or two others of our group… I started searching frantically, and ended up stealing someone’s backpack, tearing it apart for any sign of drugs.
At the bottom, there were a few dozen
tinfoil squares, and I tore them open, only to find them empty, time and time again. As the music began to swell, and the beat diffused through the room, I ripped open the last one, revealing a good, solid
hit of acid.
I laughed in triumph, and the
wind took it from my trembling fingers, where it was lost to the crowd.
…
It was a long time from now, and
Jes and I were nearing middle age, having celebrated our
hundredth anniversary. I brought one of our
grandchildren to an
arcade, and laughed, playing the games with him, showing him the ‘
antiques’ of the
video game world.
It occurred to me that I no longer spent any time playing, any time participating in this world, this
childlike fun… I make a remark to that effect to Jessica, and she turned to me, a look of
disgust on her face.
“You mean… you want to be a
kid again? You want to go out and fucking
play, and not give a damn? Oh, that’s responsible,
Jairus, that’s real fucking adult of you.”