Hey, Umm… Ok, so this is my first day log … well my first write up of any kind, so I’m going to start it a bit GTKY, but don’t worry! It’s not going to get freaky or anything, then I’ll just get right on with my day and it’ll all be over before you know it!
Ok, I guess I’m here because I want to day log… and make contributions to the main database? Yes! But I’m fairly young (17) and most of the stuff I’d want to do has been done (Hell! I’ve been using this place as a reference point for almost a year now!). I used to hang out in chatrooms to meet interesting people online, but you never really get to know anybody! (and you always have to start a/s/l … yeah that’s real friendly!) I like hearing about how other people lead their life, this place is ideal, you get all these different perspectives on how different people see different things! Of course you all know this because you are here! Ok, I think that’s enough… see that wasn’t so bad was it?
Ok, today started like any other Sunday… In bed because lets face it that’s where everybody should spend their Sunday. I’m not overly religious or anything, but God had the right idea: Sunday = Rest.
So anyway at about lunchtime I decide to surface and stumble in my usual fashion downstairs which involves usually hitting the bottom before you’re ready and doing that weird step thing where you think that there is one more step... but there isn’t! Go into the lounge wave vaguely at my family and stumble back up the stairs managing to fall over again because this time they’ve added a step (‘They’ or ‘them’ I’ve discovered are responsible for a lot in this world!) About an hour later (2-ish) I surface again. This time showered and fresh and ready to start the day… If only I had something to do!
Now I may have mislead you into thinking I had no motive or purpose for today.. but infact I have. I have the same motive and purpose every weekend… and that is Ryan. At this point I’m supposed to, as a teenage girl, go off on one about how wonderful he is and how he doesn’t really notice me… to save time I’ll just say “You get the idea!”
So I start calling/txting people and manage to get a group of us to goto the flicks so all I have to do now is call Ryan. Now, I know it sounds stupid, but I’m sure loads of people have been in the situation where they have to all someone they really like. I dialled the first 6 digits and hung up “Damn! I’m crap at this!”. For about half an hour I sit there in front of the phone looking at it with that vague hope that somehow he’ll know what I’m doing and call me instead…. He didn’t! So I do the only thing I can do… I call my best friend and get her to do it! She won't! (Hmmm.. some best friend!). So after alot of practice I dial the number and I am completely baffled when his Brother picks up the phone! It ruins my whole flow and i end up sounding like a complete idiot by the time Ryan gets on the line... but I manage to incoherently get a point across. Something about the cinema and tonight... He says "I'd love to" ... which makes me happy.
Anyway we all get to the cinema and he turns up wearing a black shirt looking as wonderful as ever and with one of those smiles that … sorry! I’m doing it again, I’ll try and stop it! I hardly pay any attention to the film because I’ve managed to end up sat next to him, and I spend the entire evening trying to work out what deodorant he’s wearing. Of course he’s engrossed in the film so he doesn’t notice me looking over at him once every ten seconds!!
At the end of the evening we all go our separate ways and he gives all the girls one of those big guy hugs where you suddenly realise that he’s a lot bigger than you and can practically hug you and all your friends in one go!! Then he left...
So that was my Sunday… and my life at the moment! Without sounding too angsty I’m trying to say that all I can think about is him… I spent an entire day of my life just trying to arrange it so I could sit next to him in the dark at a cinema for a few hours. Without speaking and only being able to see him by the faint glow of the screen. It was worth it!… but he doesn’t know…