White Van Man is also capable of driving his van at any speed, regardless of the actual performance capabilities of the vehicle, providing there is another vehicle no more than 9 inches in front of him.
I have postulated that Ford could probably win the F1 Grand Prix constructors' and drivers' championship by entering a single driver in a battered white Transit. Provided that they could squeeze it past the scrutineers, the van would always finish second, about 6 inches behind the flustered and hassled winner, flashing his lights and leaning out of the window. The cumulative effect of this consistency would probably win the championship, so long as Michael Schumacher had a couple of off days.