Wilson!
Am so fed up with the willful stupidity around here. Just got an irate call from Brenda, complaining that all the other auditors got a gift cheque and she did not. I confirmed that I sent her one, and told her I had gotten her home address from her dept. admin Erica. Brenda replied, "Well, yes, I confirmed that address with Erica, but I can't get any mail there." Me: "Well, then, I don't understand why you would confirm it." Brenda: "Well, she never said what she wanted it for." FUCKING DUMBASS! What else does your workplace want your address for but TO SEND YOU SHIT IN THE MAIL?????? Now she is trying to get ME to track this shit, and I am telling her emphatically that it is her responsibility to have provided a reliable address, and to call her local post office and get on their ass, and that I did all I could be expected to do to get the goddamn gift cheque to her.
I want a goddamn gift cheque myself.
God damn bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She will be punished.
Hope you are well,
Gruner

Yo Gruner-
Dear God, your email regarding postal situation with idiot employee was funny. Forwarded to Mark. We have talked about it a lot. We are worried about you. Sorry to hear about the stress. Let me know if I can help. If only God had provided us with the material wealth to be able to actually shop, life would be good.
Love
Wilson

Wilson
Dude, don’t worry about me. Worry about people like Mira, whom I've been helping with some details on a meeting. Today she urgently IM'ed me saying "The physicians are asking if there will be coffee at the meeting!" as if it were TODAY, not three weeks away. When I responded that A) I hadn't yet ordered the food because the meeting was still three weeks away, B) she had not yet answered my questions about what kind of food she wanted and C) she had never answered my question about the headcount, she was all like, "Oh."
Then it turned out that in fact, only one doctor had requested coffee be served.
As a totally irrelevant side note, I happen to know that she earns $96,000 a year before bonuses.
WHY? WHY?
Have you ever seen The Wire? HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!!!!!
Keep the peace Wilson.
love,
Gruner