dawn, fez. it is best i think when approached from behind. or perhaps there is no way to approach it because it is always approaching you, and then gone before you are oriented.

i'm drinking the tea you sent and typing madly on work, bits and pieces work, sort of busywork, but for good people, and paid. i guess that makes it more legitimate so i keep mentioning it to hear how it sounds. i've had to get used to admitting that the job i have, the job i love, is unpaid (and so - what? unreal? play? no). but legitimacy is a milkweed currency. poof. i like what i like and i like what i do.

twas hot for the last couple of days but then all of a sudden (the eve my bed was empty again) the rain broke it up and now it's got a nice cool almost chill. sound carries wonderfully. i should go outside, but no, i should work. there are so many shoulds, it's hard to trace where they come from.

the photos came today, five envelopes of journey: east to Joseph; across flat & rocky states; sunday morning in Columbus; Pennsylvania and grandparents; New York and mental hospital. there really isn't anyone to show them to. i'll save them for the next noder i see, and hope they care to see my friends, my precious friends. i can page through and show miciah the three pictures with andy in them, the several with megan. nothing else is relevant to her. but here in my hand i can hold a talisman of "back over there" and "dear lovely those" and smile at them like through a one-way glass. you're full to overflowing when you're there. and back? scrambling to find toeholds. wanting to look behind but not lose grip.

someone tried to tell me the other day that green jones soda tastes like green apples. i disagree. let that be known.

apparently freegeeks missed me. now i have to pick up the pieces.