A bath is definitely one of the most important things a human can do in a day. I have these fantasies of the perfect bathroom to make that important soul cleansing event as magical as it can be. The tiles of the toilet are black-and-white retro and the walls which will constitute the main atmospherical feel of the place are dark orange and evil-pink for a warm, crazy feeling or dark purples and green and aquamarine for a cool undersea feeling. The walls must be lined with pictures of people whom you like, but you don't know. Do not put up pictures of your parents or siblings, grandparents or relatives. Only put up pictures of your lover or famous people whom you love. For me I would put up The Beatles. This is for the purpose of looking at their grinning (or not grinning) faces, for the psychedelic or minimalistic artful nature of the pictures to inspire you in bath, and to whisper to them while bathing. (or play some of their songs and sing along-She Loves You, Yeah Yeah Yeah!) Be sure to have some acrylic paint so that you can paint on the walls you can reach while having a bath. And you will be inspired to paint or say the most crazy things or observations like 'wow my pubic hair floats'. A tv would be great, just like Margot of The Royal Tenenbaums does, one which she can turn off at a flick of a switch with her toe that is being painted. If you watch America's Next Top Model you can even use your bath bubbles to give yourself a mohawk and pose like Naima where no one can see how godawful your poses are.

The only things that pain me about bathtime are (if you live with your family), you can't talk or sing without feeling self-conscious which kills the freedom a bath is supposed to give you. Also, living with your family means that the bathroom and bathtime experience will remain a fantasy. In other words, get away from your family and lead a solitary life, taking long baths and inviting people to take baths on the first date. Get to know each other in your tub. Will yourself not to allow this to lead to sex and you might have attained the zen aspect of bathtime.