I had an
ex who was really into this
idea, but didn't know it. When we
broke up and he cried that he was so
in love with me, I told him that he was more
in love with the
idea of love or with
being in love than with me. It wasn't an insult, it wasn't meant to
belittle his feelings, but it was, at least to some degree, quite true.
I think all of us are kind of guilty of this. I think that's part of the reason both that my ex found it so hard to let go of our relationship and, conversely, why I didn't find it that hard. He idealized love to the point that he thought he wanted to marry me, and I idealized love to the point where I didn't think that the kind of love that we had was enough.
Who knows if either of us was right?