Hello friends, it is good to be back. It is me, friend Behr (Berhardt Goats) back in control.
The facts are that some time travel "guy" took over my body for a while in what was a first class invasion of privacy. Not only did this horse's ass fiddle with my nuts COUNTLESS TIMES in a marginally unprovoked manner, he was invading my thoughts and took knowledge of some of my doings. I cannot have this. While I have renounced violence in general, I took a holiday from that in order to slaughter the inhabitants of the time travel facility and take over that facility, its time travel equipment, and a computer known as "Ziggy" who is less impressive now than he might have been to someone in that godforsaken imaging chamber from 1954 that this asshole took over the body of and lived the life of (fucking it up in the process).
In short, I am now capable of time travel anywhere within my lifetime. Enough said. Good stuff.
I played a little ruse after I took the guy with the stinky breath hostage and made the creepy guy Al tell Sam the time travel asshole that he was there to reunite me with Chopper. Then I used my laptop (more powerful than "Ziggy") to let the survivors of the Straight White Men's Cultural Center know that I was coming for Chopper and they had to convince the guy pretending to be me that Chopper was a cardboard standup of James Dean. Then I drove him to frustration when he didn't leap and then used my powerful personality to overwhelm him and take back my body. He is now trapped in Hades being looked over by my former associate Joan Crawford.
I have reunited with Chopper, the real Chopper. We had two days of drinking and "balling" (Internet kiddie slang for basketball) and now I am ready to undertake time travel missions with Chopper (the real Chopper) acting as an "Al type person."
Hoist a mighty cold draught beer to me now. I must insist. I know where one of your ex-wives lives (or ex-husband or an aunt or distant cousin anyway).
My friends.